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to my ex,
im writing this letter as a way to relieve this pressure in my chest a pressure i feel you never truly felt, heartbreak. i looked on you social media and saw after months and months of our pictures and memories being up, they were gone just like you. that was the moment the straw that forced me to do this, to express my pain, my happiness and my feelings. when we started out it felt like a fairy tale i was engrossed in you, and felt feelings of love i have never felt before, you made me feel beautiful and important and like i actually mattered, and i truly thank you for that. then came the tough times the arguing, the jealously, both of us being too stubborn for our own good. you were my first love but i was never yours and i remember your words i love you, but im not in love with you like a sword, deep and sharp. that shouldve been the sign the reason i left, but i persisted and persisted and hoped that would change that somehow i would be enough that i would be what you want, but i never was and thats okay. i just wish through this all i loved myself more and realized my worth was much more than a half love, then a person incapable or emotion or feelings or love. you joked how you were a robot but i dont get the joke, its true as can be, atleast when you were with me i hope that that part changed that you find someone you can be emotional with and express feelings, i want nothing more than for you to be happy now. you found a new love just after we ended, that hurts worst because i found it so hard, to move on, to let people in, to just be vunerable and in love because the last time i was i got hurt. i just hope you treat her the way she deserves and for her sake please if you done love her set her free, dont prolong it, because being with someone for almost two years going on a vacation with you, going on a nice date and then at the end of the night breaking their heart is not okay. even if its hard on you, set them free. i understand why you stopped being my friend it wasnt healthy and was killing me and you, but at the time i didnt have the strength to walk away, you were like my drug my form of happiness in a very a dark time and thats overwhelming for both you and me. and i truly apologize for that pressure and pain i put you through from constantly worrying about me. i was not myself, i was a shell of myself i was unhappy and didnt know what to do. im slowly working and mending myself from the shell that i was, hoping to become a happier version of myself. so thank you for helping me learn what it is to truly love another person, but also thank you for helping realize i need to love myself just as much.
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