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The Two Slaps That Changed Everything
3 months ago · · abuse,
A dark figure was upon me. It was already night and I could just see the shape of a human right on top of me. One hand was around my neck as I gasped and the other was high up in the air, ready to strike with a monstrous force. What happened after that left me shattered and broken beyond repair.
Until then, I struggled in anguish of the pain that he gave me by throwing me around like I was a mere toy. I screamed at the top of my lungs. And it only made it worse. He hit me harder than ever before.When you experience a force right onto your face or on few parts of your head, there’s this blackness filled all over and it feels like you’ve gone blind. That’s in daylight. It goes white at night. Each time I saw a flash of white, I realized that an abnormal amount of force was being used to slap me on my face. I stopped at the first slap, but he hit me again. I cannot fathom why. I entered into a shock the next second.
My body was paralyzed and felt as heavy as huge rock. My eyes were staring at the ceiling and my mouth was wide open. It was difficult for my brain to process what my eyes had just seen. What I had just witnessed was too agonizingly painful to form a memory. And yet I had to. He had been calling out my name and telling me to sit up. Even if I wanted to follow his instructions, I just knew I couldn’t.
He turned on the light to see what had actually become of me. He pulled me with all his force and sat me up. Now, I was cowering and letting out small cries, my eyes staring into nothingness and my mouth was open the same, only drier. He kept looking at me, I couldn’t move a muscle. I heard him saying that I was bleeding from the lips. Then I heard him cry. Then I heard him say sorry. I could just hear it out. That was the only thing I could do at that moment. He told me get up and wash my mouth. Reality was just creeping in. I walked myself and washed myself. I locked myself in the bathroom and looked into the mirror. There were red patches on the inside of my lips. I cried. It hurt. Like hell.
It was the shock for the first few minutes, and the reality was so difficult to digest. My head hurt, my heart raced, my gut felt weak. I was hit by a person who I thought would love me like nobody else. But here I was, unbelievable that he gave me a battered heart. I had been abused by my boyfriend. And who said God loves his children? Giving them pain they don’t deserve?
And what he gave me…was something that became the darkest and the deepest nightmare in the chamber of my memories.