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I like the pain
I’m reminded of this every time I see the blades
They lie on the table next to my bed
I have to stop myself from reaching out
I love red
I’m reminded of this every time I force myself to bleed
A fresh wound on my arm stings in reminder
I have to stop myself from creating another
I deserve this feeling
I remember as I look through old texts
Empty promises I still wish I had kept
I stop myself before I can reach out
I am loved
I am forced to remind myself daily
Even when it feels untrue
I have to stop myself from grabbing that blade
From dragging it across my skin
From dooming myself
I am loved
I remember
As I fail to fight the urge to hurt
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Yes you are loved by many people. Promise me you are holding on a little longer okay?
ReplyI plan not to die. Only to hurt
ReplyWhy do you want to hurt? I don't understand. Plz explain. (I mean this in the most sincere and attentive way, I promise)
ReplyI guess I don’t really know. I just know I savour the pain.
ReplyI like the pain it gives, it makes me feel ok. I think the best part (not endorsing, I don't think it's good at all!) about it is the endorphin rush. I can tell people I'm not on morph but it's pretty close.
ReplyI feel the exact same way. The best thing you can do is tell someone to hide the blade where you’ll never find it OR throw it away
Reply