What are you looking for?
3 months ago · · Stress,
Have you ever felt something, but you aren't sure what you're feeling? Have you ever written letters you won't ever send? Have you ever sat on a bathroom floor and cried for hours secretly hoping someone will bust through and help? But have you ever felt guilty about it? Maybe thought to yourself, am I just fishing for attention? Is wanting someone to show they care, or wanting someone to attempt to save you, you seeking attention? I've always thought wrong of people who seemed to go out of their way for attention, but what makes me different?
Do I feel depressed? Why aren't i crying? Am I hurting? I'm not sure. I just know, I don't feel right. How am I supposed to feel? What does feeling normal mean? What does it feel like? What is normal? Have I ever been it?
Have you ever wanted to cry, but couldn't? What does it mean when that happens?
Have you ever felt like no matter how much you yell, no one hears you? I feel like I honestly have been begging for help for years now, but no one has cared enough to put out that hand.
My mom tells me she feels bad fofor me because without my boy friend I'd truly be alone. But with him here, what's the difference? I feel like I'm holding on to nothing. And no matter how much I beg him to come back to me, he won't. He's over this so called relationship, but was her ever really here to begin with? Why is it I'm sleeping in the living room while he is in my bed?
Yes he might be here, but I don't think that means I'm not alone. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help. Why am I always the one alone, and hurting. Even when there is someone here. I'm sick of this fake love. I want to be cherished. I want someone to be scared to lose me. instead of someone who tells me to just end it. Help me. Save me.