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3:06am
Nov.19,2017
Everyday I dream of a bullet hole in my head
Good or sad
Angry or happy
All I think of is that one final day when all things end.
“Do or die” as they always say,
But do I wanna live another day.
Many have reached but all for not
Whomever made it always forgot.
Death draws near in my disarray.
I preach to the ones that I leave
The recompense for the things I’ve weaved
To eventually meet the reconciling that has eluded me.
They say “you need help”
But I have tried
To kill those thoughts inside my mind
But to the heavy burdens upon which I make
And everyone knows me for which I fake
But I am the one that you must see
In order to drag me out of my misery.
II
I watch the days pass by right before my eyes
The people I once knew are gone and reborn
To those who this yet again foolishly optimistic child
The apologies have faded
He finally open the fermented bottle
Of the sorrow he oh so denied himself of feeling
Relationships fall flat with him
He pushes everyone away
They ask are you ok
He replies with yeah I am just tired
But it’s just a blatant lie.
Because all he truly wants is to die.
So he can leave the plain of earthly pain
And be placed in his grave and wait for judgement day
So he can finally get what’s coming to him
He will be banished to hell for all his wrong doings
And hopefully may god take his sacrifice and place him in there for eternity
If it meant saving his friends and family
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ReplyYup, just got to keep going
ReplyI felt this. It was very deep and relatable. But yes, we have to keep going. Thank you for putting this out for us to read. And thank you for continuing to live because you deserve to stay alive and see another day.
ReplyThank you for your support and this was very hard for me to put out there. But yes as Walt Disney said “ Just keep moving forward”
ReplyYou are very welcome. ❤ I know how you're feeling. That's the only reason I can truly offer support.
ReplyI hope you have been doing well
Reply❤
ReplyI hope you are doing well
ReplyI hope you are too!
Replyhow have u been?
Reply