What are you looking for?
5 months ago · · Need Advice,
I have so many questions for you. Like why me? Why is it that you like to hang around with me at all times? Even at the times that I feel the happiest and alive. Or worse when I'm at my worst. Why is it that you love to give me this feeling of emptiness? The emptiness that you make me feel, makes me have evil thoughts. Not just some days, but every single day of every week. It drives me absolutely crazy. Sometimes I feel like I convinced myself that I am actually going insane. Also, lately I've been pushing away all the people that I care for and that care for me because you told me to... why did I listen to you? Why do I do and believe everything that you whisper in my ear? I hate you so much. I wish that you would just leave me alone. I can't focus in school because of you. I can't socialize because of you. You always have me stay and do your favorite things and places which are eating too much and shut myself away from the world. You say you're my friend, but are you really? I can't feel anything anymore. I don't know how to feel happy nor sad nor anything. I feel nothing. I feel nothing because of you. I don't know what you're doing with me or if you're messing with my brain but, I feel like I'm wired. Like if I am a robot. I'm not in control. You are. I feel like my whole life is being controlled as well as my actions and the way I feel. But, in the end of the day... your always the first and last and only person that is there with me. Even if you're breaking me apart... you're always there. Maybe, I should just give in. Maybe I should stop stopping myself and leave like you said you wanted me to do... maybe it's for the best. Goodbye.