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I born without any special benefit like others have. I born in middle low family who still rent a house until today, have treated poorly because we are poor (at that time my family is the poorest compared to all of my cousins family), having low esteem due to constant body shaming from people around me (i'm obese), not having good personality and not a kind hearted soul (still remember that i am thinking so hard when i am asked for writing 3 positive side of myself for school assignment at that time), and not so good in academic, sports and didn't have any hobby that somehow will give benefit for any aspects of my life. And the worst is, i only have 1 friend untill grade 9.
I still remember that one of my aunt tell the whole family that her daughter is invited by a food blogger and i kinda jealous because my dad even like her more than me and asked me to be more like her. She is my dad's favorite niece.
At that time, i though it was impossible for me to invited by a food blogger. I didn't know any food blogger, beginner or famous one. Yes, at that time, i write occasionally in a food review app which isn't popular anymore today. But as a high schooler from middle low family, i'm not that often for had food in restaurant. That app held a gathering for every reviewer who already write 10 reviews and 50 photos and i really look forward it, but somehow i never met the requirement until today, when that app is not held any gathering anymore. And i stop writing completely after posting several reviews in that app. I just gave up for food reviewing because i'm not so often too eat at restaurant.
In JHS, one boy that i like is come from rich family and he had meal from the restaurant everyday, i know it from my classmate and i though i want to be like that. Honestly i'm not fond of home cooking meal and at least i am lucky to be able ate at restaurant every month.
The, one week after graduating from high school, i invite several of my friends for meal at restaurant to celebrate my 17th bday. After that, one of my friend recommend us to visit an ice cream shop and somehow i'm not satisfied with the taste although it was a popular place.
I don't know what i am thinking about at that moment, but i decided to use a new review app that is popular and start to vent my not satisfied experience by write a review and start to reviewing more often. I guess i realized that i enjoy writing food review to help others find good food around them, and to please myself.
Luckily, my family's economic condition getting better compared to the past. My parents could afford entrance fee and tuition fee in the university, so i become university student.
On second semester, somehow i am friendless. My only friend is in other class and we can't meet each other. All of my other friends also going to different university, so i am being alone. It was hard for me to get a new friend because i feel ugly and not confident at all. My heart beats faster and i'm afraid to be judged as a weirdo if i start talking to them. I am afraid to talking with strangers. So i often spending time alone at the restaurant to relieve my stress and start making more food reviews.
Then, somehow i get into top 50 reviewers leaderboard in my city on that review app that i use (let's call it Z app). And my very first invitation from restaurant is in February 2018. It was kinda funny if i remember about it back then. I still can't believe someone invited me to eat for free and i only expected to make food review for his restaurant and i even offering to pay for my meal. LOL
I also got invited by a new food review app (let's called it PKL (the acronym of the app's name)) on June 2017. At that time, it is only me with the marketing and i kinda hesitated to attend it. I mean, who the hell on their sane mind would invite someone that very not significant like me? I have less than 1k followers, bad quality pictures and food review. I grew up in a strict family so i am afraid and very awkward to meet a stranger.
I'm very happy to be invited in PKL's special event and i feel very nervous and nobody that i know. My heard beats faster and i wish someone who is in the same table with me isn't a famous person. I am in the same elevator with someone who has 3k followers in instagram and very beautiful compared to me, and i feel very inferior.
It turns out that someone who sit exactly beside me is a beauty blogger who have more than 50k followers in instagram at that time! I feel extremely nervous and whenever i speak, my heart is thumping. Fortunately she is being very nice to me and even help me to take food which is far from my chair.
Then, several months later, i almost threw out from top 50 reviewers leaderboard in Z app. I feel grateful when i got at least 1 invitation in that month.
Somehow, probably God is blessing me although i'm not that religious. Since my family economic condition getting better and my mom start her own small business, she is busy so she can't cook at home anymore. There is a lot of promotion from food delivery app, so i start to use food delivery service more often and have content for review. My cook is really worse and not edible at all, so i don't want to cook because i will spend money for bought edible food and in the end, it will be waste for money.
Several months later i am listed as top 25 reviewers in Z app, start to get more invitations and more new acquaintances. Some of them being very nice for me, teach me how to take a picture properly, how to edit a picture although we aren't that close and actually photography & editing skill is a secret for several foodies. Some of them also offering invitations to me. Until today, i still feel indebted for their kindness.
Things is getting better for me. My friends in university even praise me for being invited by restaurants, food blogger or food review app sometimes. My dad still not recognize my effort although he is being more supportive. My friend's mom even followed my account in Z app, my close friends also praise me for my effort as food reviewers. At least, now i have things to make my parents proud of me (although it is nothing since there are a lot of food reviewers, food vlogger & blogger who achieve more than me. My photography, editing & reviewing skill is getting better compared to several years ago). My whole family from my dad's side who used to promoting about their kids achievement start to know about my own achievement.
And now, at least i got 2 invitations or more every month. I write this because i remember that in April last year, i didn't even get any single invitations. I'm not trying to be snob, but i wish everyone who read my super duper long story will realize that no matter how bad is your life right now, someday things will get better. There will be a moment when u can also achieve something in your life.
Until now, i am still struggling with low self esteem and afraid to attend an invitations when there is a lot of famous food reviewers. But at least things are getting better and now i could communicate with others in my table.
Somehow i love to encourage anyone who have passion in food that i know for being a food reviewers (although probably i might annoyed them. I'm really sorry for always talk about foods >_<). I also willingly to give tips for anyone who want to be a food reviewer although i still on progress of learning to be better, because i know about the struggle that i have been through. When others willingly to advise me, why don't i do the same way to others?
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