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Here's to the best pair of parents. The ones I need but dont deserve.
4 years ago · 2 · Open letter, +3 · Explicit
512
Before I get to the point, please know that I am not writing in my mother tongue. Although they might find this, i do understand if they dont fully get what I am about to say in here.
One night, a thought hit me hard and at this point, I am no longer able to hold this in any longer. I just realized how lucky I am to have my parents. To be provided by the life they long and worked so harf for, only to be lived by someone like me. I realized how ungrateful I am despite all of the unsaid and unrevealed sacrifices they have done for me and for my brother.
I am currently 20 years of age, a young professional starting a career who lives with her parents. In out place, family ties are so strong that parents would prefer that their children stay within the home they built until they're ready to move out or build a family of their own.
One night, I was waiting for my better half to come home from work so we can eat together. No, we dont live in together. It's just been a habit to wait for him so we can take our dinner at the same time. By that time, it make me think "when was the last time I did this for my parents? ". My mom is a stay at home wife, taking care mostly of my little brother, and the house hold chores. My dad, on the other hand, runs a small scale store with variety of goods to offer. He usually goes for work at 7am and goes home at around 11pm. Workaholic, isnt it? My parents (both of them when my mom was still working) are really hard working people. They are the most industrious people I've known in my life.
When the thought came, I realized how ungrateful I am to be living the comfortable life they worked so hard for. We were only on the low-mid class of society. Has enough for food and necessities, not too much for other miscellaneous expenses. Given the situation, they were able to send me to a private school from pre-school up until I graduated highschool. Alsk worked hard sending me to college. Even as a scholar, studying is still pretty expensive (study materials, transportation, meal allowance, paper works, etc. ) but still, they kept working hard nonetheless.
Now when I started working, I usually tell my mom how my day went. How stressful it is as work, how stressed I am for working just extra 1-2 hours of my time at a day, how I feel like my workload is too much for me to handle.
Now I just feel ashamed of every rant my mouth ran. I realized thay ever since I was born or even before that, my parents were constantly working their asses off just to make a living, barely being able to save up some money to buy nice thibgs for themselves. How they worked even 15-18 hours a day (they are tailors, sometimes when there is a rush order, they only sleep for 2-3hrs a day for a duration of 3-5 days at max). How they worked so hard, and yet, i never heard them complain about how hard life is or how fucked up world is. I got ashamed of the truth that while i get so stuck up on my problems with relationships and friendships, they were thinking of how much overtime they need to put in just so we can have tasty meals on our plates. I dont deserve you, ma, pa. Im so sorry for all the times that I lashed out at you for every minor inconvenience or moodswings I experience. Or for throwing tantrums just because you didnt let me hang out with some friends. I feel like I brought you more pain that happiness i've let you experience ever since I came to existence. Im so sorry ma, pa. For being the daughter that is unworthy of your unconditional love and sacrifice. But I am truly grateful. I may not be showy, but please know that I am truly blessed tk be born as your child. You both may not be perfect, but if i were to pick a parent, i'd choose ypu both all over again. I'll try my hardest to be a bit more deserving of just a fraction of your love . By then, i hope you relax a bit and focus on your health and overall well-being. I'd want to spend more time with you for the rest of your life. I know you're both a bit aged by now, but I just wish to God to give me more time to be with yku both so I can repay all of your sacrificies and kindness. Thank you mama and papa. I may not say this often. But I love you so much and I am very muxh proud and truly grateful to someone as wonderful as you two to be my parents.
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