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I just feel so depressed and so lonely!! I have no friends, most of my family/siblings hate me and humiliate me either because I am not hypocritical like them or maybe because I am so poor that they have nothing to gain/benefit from me. !!! bunch of arrogants!!!
I want to achieve my parents aspirations and make them happy and proud, but I just have no power to study or even get out of my room ,I feel that I have let them down/ failed them this way.
I don't know if I am so bad at expressing myself (thoughts/ feelings) or just that no one care about me.
no one understands me or see thru my walls of lies. They think I do nothing, "she just sleeps all day all night, lazy!!" I cant ever sleep in peace, I suffer from severe insomnia, no one ever notice even my mom!!. my mind can never stop thinking about this world and the people that are suffering every moment. I feel useless and sometimes I just feel like dying. But I can't because again I love my parents and I want them to be happy forever.
I wanna go somewhere else when no one can find me, a vacation perhaps, but again I have absolutely no money which means I am forever trapped in this prison of sadness and depression lonely us always.
I want to feel happy and make my parents proud but ....
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It is great that you hold so much love for your parents, it really makes you an amazing person. Making your parents proud and also doing what you love is still ok. Dont feel pressured to please them and just be happy! Afterall parents only wish their kids happiness
ReplyFind your skill. And if you are thinking like I don't have any? It's only because you did not get to know it yet. And till you get to know it, get hold of something you want to be in life and build your skills around it , short term achievements may depend on how talented you are but long term achievements are all based on how resilient you are to learning. Just be persistent and you will bloom like a beautiful flower.
Replyi don;t know your whole story about this but i really can relate to you. from that insomnia, and loneliness, and especially wanting to go somewhere but not having money haha. but there is a right time for everything believe me. i know it is such a tiring phrase that we always hear but it makes sense. try listening to music or do something where you are passionate like arts or writing maybe. just do something that you can focus on and makes you forget about your stress even just for awhile. also, family is really some source of pressure and stress but they won't really understand you if you don't atleast tell them, or someone atleast, what's wrong. communication is the key.
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