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I didn't know her, and I do not feel grief for her loss. But my friend does. It is because of this that I'm so... I don't know what to call it. I feel like I'm not there for him in the way that I should be. He hasn't been eating or exercising like he typically did. I guess this is to be expected. Yet, I don't know what to do. I want to do something. If I could, I would take all his pain but I can't. I told him that he could count on me if he needed anything. He hasn't called or texted me. I think that he doesn't want to burden me; he wouldn't. I want him to reach out to me. I really do. At the same time I fear that I'll say the wrong thing when he does. What if I screw up? What if what I say makes things worse? I texted him the other night. I was worried. Still am. He told me he was basically hanging in there, and that he was not okay. I didn't know what to say. I regretfully changed the topic. I don't know how to approach him about it. I feel like I should just ask. That I should just do it. At the same time, I'm not sure how to. He's so amazingly strong. I told him this. I also said that if he ever just wanted to hang out, we could do that. No questions asked. I don't know what to do, yet I know I must do something. Or anything.
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He might just you to be with him and not really talk. I used to be afraid to talk to people after they'd lost loved ones, until I lost my dad and sister. I didn't change, other than feeling sad. I still wanted to talk to people, but he may be different. So sorry! This is a tough one.
ReplyIf it is me, unless I was the closest friend , I would give this person some time/few days to settle down before I spend time with them. This person's pain is way too much and it is always unpredictable as to what can help them.
If it was my best friend, I would straight away go to this person and stay with them for a while trying my best to be the shoulder on which they can cry.
But what I said is no way a guideline, every person deals with such situations differently.
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