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I can't stop feeling this crushing weight. I always feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. Not good enough for my boyfriend or to be anyone's friend.I hate myself. I shouldn't have myself for stuff I have no control over. But I do. I feel like everything that happens is my fault and I always make up situations in my head that don't exist and then panic over it. I don't know I'm just stupid I guess.
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I read this thing once. It was talking about how we consistently "beat ourselv5up" with negative thoughts about our worth, about how others perceive us, about our looks, our capabilities, etc. It said to take these things out of your head, and put them on the outside for you to see what you're doing to yourself that way. How right? Pretend you're beating yourself up. Pretend to slap yourself. Pretend to punch yourself. Grab yourself by the hair, and throw yourself to the ground. Try to kick your own ass, as it were. Mockingly of course, you dont want to actually mess yourself up. So I tried it. And few things make me laugh out loud, but this little exercise did when I tried it. You may feel ridiculous doing it, and if you do- GOOD! Because it's meant to show you exactly how ridiculous it is to beat yourself up in any form or fashion. The world is mean enough, don't be mean to yourself, too. Sit down an make a list of your positive attributes. Things you're good at, maybe a talent you have (or would like to cultivate), ask people close to you one thing they find about you that's attractive or positive. Try to focus on these things when you notice yourself beating you up or feeling bad again. It takes some practice, and it won't happen overnight. But you can feel better...if you want to. You are a divine creation of the creator whether you recognize it now or not, and perfection doesn't make mistakes. I love you person. *Ghost hug*
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