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My Unsent Letters
1 month ago · · worry,
A few months ago I found a lump on my neck. I didn't take much notice of it at first as the first doctor I saw told me it was only a gland, but the second doctor was much more worried and sent me off for blood tests and referred me to the 'cancer clinic' at the hospital near my university. Obviously, this is a scary process for anyone to go through and after having a biopsy and expecting results two days ago I am still waiting. The waiting process is crushing and makes you feel so lonely during the night when you worry the most. Google has become my worst enemy and everything I google I assume is me and I have been worrying so much. Doctors are testing for lymphoma which is a type of cancer and obviously hearing this at age 20 is the most scary thing someone can tell you. It could turn out to be nothing, which is what I am hoping for, or it could be something and I would begin treatment. Hearing about the process for someone with lymphoma from my doctors has been scary enough but it would have been much more scary had I not had the calming voices of my family and friends around me. If I have taken anything away from this experience, it's that I am surrounded by some of the kindest, most caring people I know and it has made me feel extremely guilty for not being more appreciative of them before. The next few posts I make will be unsent letters to each of my family and friends, not only thanking them for how they've been recently but for their continuous love and support when I don't thank them enough. Feel free to read them, that is fine, but they may be a little boring and the actual people they're for will never see them.
Each one will be directed to a person based on the first initial of their first name but I will explain who they are to me anyway. Thanks for reading, please keep me in your thoughts if you can. Hopefully I'm back in another 2 weeks with good news.