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I'll try and keep this as concise as possible. About 9 months ago I met a woman called Victoria. We met on a dating app as people do these days and although I really wasn't looking for anything serious and just saw our date as a bit of fun, we really hit it off. I had never met anyone so open and honest and brave, we talked about deeply personal things but we also just had a lot of fun. There was a tonne of chemistry. We went on a few more dates until Victoria went through some considerable hurt, the intimacy between us gradually dropped off and she told me she wasn't ready for anything serious, she couldn't even think about being in a relationship with anyone and that she wants to be single.
Victoria and I stayed in contact and my feelings for her stayed the same, I knew why she had to go it alone and get her life together. We've become closer and closer friends since then and our friendship might be stronger than ever right now. The only problem is I still hope for more in the future. I've been honest to her about my feelings but also that I want her to have this time she needs to work on herself and find her emotional independence and love herself. Victoria has so much emotional depth and supports me in my own struggles and I truly value her as a friend, probably my best friend but I'm an introverted person and naturally an intimate relationship is highly important to me. It's hard and frustrating to not fully express myself to her but I think I do a good job of maintaining a close friendship. I'm not able to change my feelings for her and although she's told me not to wait and I've tried to date I just don't feel interested. She's truly one of a kind.
If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice I'd really appreciate it.
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I don't know if I could be some sort of help or support, but I do think what you're doing is admirable.
Personally, I believe you're doing the right thing by maintaining your relationship as a close friend. I don't think there's any use in trying to channel the feelings you have towards somebody else... Feelings are meant to be observed and embraced, then accepted wholeheartedly (at least that's what loving a married man with 3 kids taught me).
Hopefully her problems would be resolved and you both grow closer. Find strength!
ReplyDon’t try to force your feelings. It’s good that you tried and just make sure that you keep trying every once in a while to date someone new just to see where your own feelings stand. Other than that, I don’t think you can do much but wait for her. Feelings are unreasonable that way.
ReplyI've been through very similar circumstances. It hurts a lot, but the good thing is that she isn't pushing you away. Give her some space though but at the same time forget dating. Accept that what is for you is for you and all will eventually fall on place. But I really hope Victoria is your fate.
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