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Nothing is making me feel happy. EVERY time I do something that I would usually enjoy, I just start feeling...bored. Like EVERYTHING I do is busywork and I'm doing for no reason other than to kill time. I'm just not getting any excitement out of anything.
The only thing that gives me any amount of happiness is my lifelong goal of becoming a father. I refuse to get married, so I'm having to go the surrogacy route. But for certain reasons, that may take a few years. I'm trying to find ways to enjoy myself in the meantime, but I can't seem to find anything that keeps me happy for now. I keep having these thoughts of "what do I REALLY want to do right now?" But the only thing I can even think of is "become a dad." Everything else bores me and just makes me lose interest in immediately. I just can't feel any sort of happiness or excitement. I keep worrying I won't feel this way until I actually become a dad.
What can I do to be happy? I'm out of options.
PLEASE do not suggest religion or anything like that. I will ignore you. The same with marriage. I DON'T want to get married.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. If I am thinking logically, I would say there isn't one thing that will be a fix for life. We work towards a goal thinking that once I obtain that, I will be happy. I have not found that to be the case, because there is always another reason to not be happy.
I don't know your situation, I won't pretend to understand what you've gone through to get you to this point, I can only offer my experience. Being a good dad doesn't require a mother and a father, it requires love. It sounds like you have love to give.
In all honestly, you have to learn to be happy before bringing life into the world. What if having a child doesn't solve your problem?
You just need to find a way to channel that love until you get a child. Do something loving for someone else. Take care of someone else like you would a child. Let that pent up love loose on the world.
ReplyI think you're being called to be a dad, which is so awesome. I hope you do.
Kinda sounds like depression, which is exactly how I felt. Nothing was interesting...nothing at all...not food, not a vacation to the Bahamas, nothing in the world. I can't tell you what healed me, cuz you'll ignore it Lol.
I wish the best for you
Reply