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Unsent Letter - O
5 months ago · · Scared,
My first unsent letter and it only felt right to start with you, my other half. My boyfriend, and someone that has been in my life for a whole year and a half now (wow how quickly has that gone?!). Meeting you was something that changed my idea on boyfriends, relationships and dating completely. You made me understand that relationships are supposed to be stress free, happy places where two people can be when they feel in love and crazy about one another. Your emotional side was something I noticed soooo early on and it really hooked me on you. I remember staying up late on FaceTime with you in the early stages of our relationship and telling you about my biggest fears, happiest and saddest days of my life, my goals, my hobbies, everything - and you cried during one specific story. Seeing how much care you had for me so early on that a story brought you to tears really made me open my eyes to how much of a caring and compassionate person I had met. We bonded so early on and you'd always say that you would be there for me in the future no matter what. Many people say this, but not many live up to it. You did.
A few weeks ago when I found a lump on my neck I was so quick to allow my mind to runaway with fear. You were the first person I texted and obviously at the time I didn't think much of it but I was panicking to you as I do. You kept me so calm and encouraged me to go to the doctors. You were the person to make me go, and although I don't know what this lump is yet, had you not, I wouldn't have ever thought to get it checked. Since then, and during this waiting process, you have been my rock. Every time I'm anxious or worried you're the first person to pull me back to reality and soothe my thoughts. During your exam season I did not expect this from you, but you have been so selfless and so helpful to me and I will spend forever repaying you for that. I have been so worried the past few weeks and without you would have sent myself insane.
We're 20 and 21, we are so young but the way I feel about you is so mature and so real. You are my boyfriend and I feel so much pride to say that. I just want to say thank you, thank you for dealing with me googling myself insane and then complaining to you about the things I find even AFTER you told me not to. Thank you for giving me reality checks whenever I feel as though I have already been diagnosed. Thank you for clearing any doubt I had about the lump and reminding me that even in the worst case scenario - it is highly curable. Thank you for being you. You are so wise, so mature yet so immature in other aspects and I love you. Thank you for trying to take my mind off of it the day I had my CT scan by suggesting adventure golf or food. You are my muse. I love you
I have no clue where these tests are going to lead, or what I am going to go through. It could be nothing, it could be something. But one thing is for sure, whatever the scenario, having you around makes me feel like I can take on the world.