What are you looking for?
1 month ago · · Stress,
So, I need to get my future straight.
That's what everyone is saying.
I'll be blunt and just say it.
I have good grades, I'm sporty, I love arts and music, everyone expects a bright future from me.
I thought so too.
When I was younger, it was easier.
I wanted to be a scientist, I studied.
I wanted to be a singer, I sang.
I wanted to be an actress, I acted.
I wanted to dance, I dance.
I wanted to do sports, I trained.
I did well in everything I wanted to try.
Which became a dilemma to me now.
I loved everything I tried.
But now, I don't know what I want anymore. What I'll choose.
Heck, I don't even have any plans for college. Each time I say it though, no one believes me.
I act like I don't care, but recently l began to.
A few more years, and it's time for college.
And I have no idea what I want to do.
I had an idea of becoming a neurologist or a lawyer, but I heard it was at least 10 years, and, it is what my mom wants, and we aren't exactly on good terms, so no. Also, having that kind of job means that I wont have much time for my family.
I'm an athlete as well, I really wanna continue it. But I don't know if I'm good enough, or if I'll be happy with it.
I LOVE music. I stopped singing though. Maybe when I was 11? But I make songs. And I'm confident about it. I just really love music. I had ideas on being part of a music company, which handles artists. Maybe a music producer? A manager? Or even just simple staff. But it isnt guaranteed that I'll get the job.
People say that I'm smart, and I should put it to good use and be this, be that.
I know I should take risks, but I don't know which one is worth risking my happiness for.
There are times where I feel like an empty void. So... empty, that sometimes, music or food don't even work anymore.
That feeling that you know something is missing but you don't know what it is?
It's annoying the heck out of me.
I just can't seem to figure myself out.
I really do though.
I don't know what I want, all I know, is just that I want to be happy in the future.