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4 months ago · · help,
I choose to cut you out, by making you think it was your choice. I do the things most people wouldn't do just to see what would happen. my life is twisted and chaotic. I spare everyone my fate with a simple nudge in to a different direction. I make excuses for myself, and remove all others who dont deserve my fate. Over time I will drown those unfit in sorrows and anger. I will boil them and make them hate what I have done to them. I will shape them to hate me, I will mold them to be better then what they where. So far it has worked every time.
Tell people what they dont want to hear and they will know you speak the truth. lie one time and they will never know if your lying or not.
There was a girl whom had feelings for me. I also had these feeling but I knew better then to act on them. She did not know me, nor did she know my truth. I did not wait for her. I asked her what are we doing, we should just get married now. She at first seemed happy about it then she realized it was too fast too soon. She said it would be crazy. I said whats wrong with a little crazy? Things soon went south.
I have used this same stunt time and time again to remove women from my life time and time again. Each time using the same being "When we getting married". Here's why I use it. It always works. It seems like I'm being manipulative and your right I sorta am. however its not because I'm afraid of commitment. Its because they are afraid of someone crazier then them. Imagine doing something you deem crazy now, imagine your Significant other doing something worse. Then worse until you cant. That thats the wall I put up, but I disguise this wall as an open gate you've made it to my true self it reads. But a wall is still a wall and I watch as they ram there head into repeatedly until they realize there is no getting past.
Not all women are treated this callus way. Just the ones who need not be around me anymore are. Which are few, I have tried many methods but nothing works, Ghosting (failed), "lost touch" (failed), Talking to them doesnt work either (surprise they dont want to just be friends either). My methodical madness brings and end to it.
There is nothing that has given me the results this has. The only thing I have lost for using this method is some decent people that instead should of been kept at arms length. But instead they got to close. Its like staring at the sun you need to look away once in awhile otherwise youll go blind.
It has since been several years since I've use this method. Because it simply grew volatile. I continued to see others being hurt by my choice time and time again. I ran out of places to hide. I've explained myself to them about it, and apologize. Some forgave me after I told them not too. Others skulk my shadows plotting against me, and thats fine too. But I learned more about character though my abuse then anything else. I dont deserve redemption, I deserve payback. Some have gotten it some have not. I learned how to better myself and others. I learned how to out wait those who think they are getting close to hurt me.
The biggest target that most people forget about is there friends. I watched as someone who wished me harm did nothing but hurt him. They thought they got to me but when it was said and done they hurt someone who didnt know the things I did or who I was that time ago. they hurt someone like I hurt them.
What we need to learn is how to better understand people when they clearly dont want us around. We need to learn how to stop when people clearly want it to end.
I was a bastard years ago, I've kept some of my "ideas" but mearly to help others. I've done many terrible things in my past ive used many people. But now I seek to help change that. One anonymous post at a time. - L