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Mental illness?
4 years ago · 1 · Explicit
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I am really debating if I should get myself help. When I am not around with my friends I don't feel happy. It's like I am just there. I feel like I fake my emotions so that they can see that I am happy. If they ask me if I had a good time with them I say yea I did but really I don't think I had a good time. I have truly been feeling like not motivated to do anything anymore. I am taking classes over the summer so that I can graduate on time for school. If I did not take summer classes I would have to go an extra semester. I have a associates degree in another field at another college and I am currently going to another school and transferred as a Junior at a university. I finished up junior year and after this summer is over I am going into senior year. Senior year has 1 internship for two semesters so 200 hours each semester. I am doing Social Work at this university. It is kind of sad because I am wanting to help other people but yet cannot help myself. I am not motivated to do a masters degree which I really had the passion to a while back. I can not get myself to do anything anymore. Even the summer classes that I am taking now are becoming a burden to me. I should have listened to my parents when they told me that I should have gone an extra semester. This social work degree is so much that is why I truly don't want to continue to try to do my master's degree. My motivation and passion is lost. All I want to do now is just finish with my bachelor's degree and figure out what I want to do. I don't know what happened to me. I used to be this happy person and really had my dreams in goals as a positive mindset for me and now I don't see that at all. I had the vision to make so much money with going for a masters degree and now I lost the motivation. Even the people that I am friends with, I truly just want to be alone and have nothing to do with them a lot of times. Maybe it is because they aren't who I want them to be but idk. I have been thinking truly about seeing a counselor. I keep telling everyone around me how tired I am. I spend a lot of days alone and I have no idea why. What happened to me? What happened to this person that had a passion for everything? How did I lose all this motivation? I also do not exercise. I am a picky eater and lately, I have been trying to starve myself not badly but eat little meals. I weigh 168 pounds and have a big belly as a 21-year-old. It really is sad. The foods I only like is Chicken, pasta, apples, grapes, candy (trying to stop eating that), turkey, yogurt, eggs, and soup. I do not like salad. I can never get myself to eat at all those healthy people eat. My friend tells me that I should make eggs in the morning for myself and I don't have the motivation to. I feel like a piece of shit cause I don't eat healthy at all. Am I am really starting to develop a mental illness?
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im not a mental health professional so i cant say for sure, ut it seems like u may be getting th beginnings of depression. i know because i have had it before. I think u should probably get help because the symptoms can get really bad, really fast... trust me, it's not fun
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