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I've became lost, so lost. Deep down I can not believe that the perfect life I used to have is now the opposite. I hate to be weak, I hate to appear weak to others. I've lost a best friend, we barely talk now, she keeps gossiping with others about me, I can't take it anymore, I feel traumatized that someone who was so close to me is now a stranger.
My other best friend, I believe, is starting to replace me.. We used to be together in everything, sleepover, hang out, she met a new friend that she started to make everything with her, its not like I don't want her to make other friends, I just hate that we barely do the stuff we used to now.. She doesn't talk to me about her problems anymore, she barely hang out with me, and if she turned out to be someone I will lose in the future, I think I will go into depression, because I can't accept losing two people who'm I've loved so deeply.
I HATE how people believe the pretending face I make when they ask me if I'm okay, no, I'm not fucking okay, I am dying, I need help, I need love, I need attention, I need you to stop hurting me and act as if nothing happened, I need someone to save me because I feel so lost.
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If you keep pretending, people will keep believing. If you want someone to know how you feel, as difficult as it can be, you are the one will need to open up first. Help can only be given after others realize that it is needed. Talk to your friend. If you are wondering what happened, ask them. Tell them how you hate how things are right now. And if after all that you still lose them, at least you will know why and that you tried.
People will come and go from your life. I know it hurts and sometimes its downright unfair. But thats life.
ReplyMaybe you're right, but I can't imagine losing her that I sometimes tell myself okay if pretending will keep her in my life let that be, I've lost too many people and losing someone I love again will break me into pieces
ReplyI understand how you feel, I really do. But you have to see that pretending isn’t keeping her in your life either. Even though you are pretending to be fine you are losing her. If you showed your friend how much they mean to you and how much you want and need them in your life, not only will they feel appreciated they will understand and try to be there. All people change, even the ones we have known all our lives. If you stop communicating and getting to know each other you will drift apart.
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