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Here I wake up, regretting not sleeping a bit more, blaming my mind for waking up so early, I have to deal with a new long day, full of overthinking, loneliness and anxiety.
I have achieved a lot of things I've dreamed of so far, I traveled to so many countries, I am finally graduating with an A+, I am getting a job soon, yet, I feel so miserable. Isn't that funny? Back in school when I used to finish my last exam I used to feel that I was the happiest creature on this planet, I was so proud of myself for the tiniest things, and now, after achieving lots and lots of dreams, I barely even thank myself for achieving any..
Here I am in my room, thinking about all of this, thinking how I might end up lonely one day, with no friends, no parents and no spouse. Something that might bring up hope to me? I always have a perfect scenario in my head, where I'm somewhere crying my heart out, and then all of the people that I love come running at me, hugging me and telling me that they all love me and they all will be there for me no matter what, they shower me with validation and extra care, they kick out the negative thinking I have, but that might never happen.
I wish I can get out of this miserable state, I wish I can enjoy my life just as I've always dreamed, I wish I can wake up one day feeling safe and excited about this new day.
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ReplyFirst off from what I have read you are an amazing person who has a great life ahead of them. The same thing used to happen to me. I just couldn’t be happy no matter what I did and I didn’t know why... what helps me today is when I think about my future I may think, “I’m going to be lonely”. Then I think, “Well then I guess I’ll have more time to explore the world”. You have to put yourself in a positive mindset about it. Life is what you make of it. You can be in the worst situation ever and as long as you’re mindful you can still be happy.
-Narwhals
ReplyMaybe your problem is that you don’t get enough validation from everyone else, it’s ok to ask people you know, it’s not hard, just say something like “what do you think of how this turned out” “I’m really proud of this, what do you think?” But idk if that’s the problem maybe it’s a deeper issue that needs to be addressed professionally?
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