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So I’m thinking about killing myself next week. Not really sure how I’m going to do it. I want it to be painless and quick. Life’s tough and I’m getting more and more depressed.
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It's crazy how you made such a big statement so simply. It saddens me. I don't know you and I probeky never will. But I really hope you don't. I really hope to god that you don't. Because this was me many times. Thinking it's a perfect way out. No more difficult chapters. But think. Thibk really deeply about the beautiful sunsets that won't be able to shine on your lovely face. They'll miss you. They have their rays here to shine on yoy. I need to know you won't. I need a stranger to make me a promise. And ill make you one, I'll promise you that every day you wake up the sun will be there to greet you. No matter what, the sun will shine tommorrow.
ReplyThank you so much. I promise I’ll carry on and look at the sunsets whenever I’m feeling this way. That’s my motivation. Thank you
Reply^^promise me
ReplyPlease don’t, I’m begging you I don’t know you but I’ve felt that. I’ve sat on the bathroom floor with a bottle of bleach pressed against my lips, and I’ll admit I didn’t do it because I was scared, but I’m not ashamed of that. I know life seems pointless we cycle through and die and maybe nothing we do matters in the long run but it matters right now to SOMEONE. People will do anything to avoid negative emotions, even die. But it’s ok to be not ok, it’s ok to be sad or angry or confused or all of them it’s ok to feel nothing at all. If you need to talk to someone I may be a stranger but I’ll talk to you, you don’t have to tell me anything about you outside of how you’re feeling you don’t even have to tell me your name, just know if you need to talk and you don’t think you can tell anyone you know or a professional this internet stranger is here
ReplyThank you, I’d really love to talk to someone who I know won’t judge me and who’ll really listen instead of brushing it off and blaming it on different things other than me being depressed and suicidal.
ReplyDont do it please. Ive probably came close to doing it but i didn't. There is so much to life out there. We're all given an expiration date. No need to make it sooner than it needs to be. Temporary things will pass. You cant undo ending it.
ReplyAnd you’re absolutely right. When my time comes, that’s it. I shouldn’t try to rush death because who knows, my life could completely turn around right after. Thank you.
ReplyOne of my favorite quotes is “the world is broken but hope is not crazy.” It helps me realize that part of what I’ve felt (similarly to you, I’ve been in that place) is externally caused. It is somewhat reassuring to know that I cannot control everything, even the way I feel, because it is impacted by the messed up world and my ‘messed up’ brain- regarding my depression and other various mental illnesses. The other half of that quote states the validity of hope, and that’s the part I cling to. It helps me to know that others believe in the legitimacy of hope, that it is rational to have hope in a better tomorrow or future. It validates the truth of the cliche saying that “it gets better.” Sayings become cliche because of their overarching truth and applicability. So don’t discredit its truth due to its status as cliche, instead recognize society’s collective belief in it and hopefully that will help you believe in the fact that it truly will get better, just as it helped me. On a more practical note, when I am feeling as you do, I find it helpful to remind myself of my responsibilities and how others depend on me and would therefore suffer if I left. It may be possible that you feel you have no responsibility, but I doubt that. Do you have a pet to feed and love? A relative who would appreciate a phone call? A friend who might need a ride or someone to talk with? A space to keep clean so that others may use it if they need? A child who might need their day brightened? Even if you do not, consider that you do have the opportunity to improve the lives of others even if it is not an explicit responsibility. Everyone can be the light in the cashier’s day when you smile at them or the cause of the smile on an old lady’s face when you compliment her eyes, etc. The responsibilities I have, people who depend on me, and the opportunity to be a light in this world, all help me ground myself and choose to stay. I also find it helpful to have someone or something remind me of the greatness of something I love, especially if I cannot see it for myself anymore. Maybe it is movies, a show, a band, gardening, a book series, a sport, a planet, an animal species, anything. For me it is singing, and when I get one of my friends to remind me of my love and passion for it and the beauty and complexities I find in it, I regain a little bit of happiness, and sometimes that’s all you need to sustain you for a while. The last, most important thing I have done to aid myself in this situation is to seek professional help. I understand this is a common suggestion, but as I mentioned with how things become cliche, that is because of its large applicability. My therapist has helped me work through my issues and helped instill in me healthier coping mechanisms and a more positive sense of self. My guess is it would have a similarly beneficial effect on you. I am not a professional, just a concerned person who believes that everyone has reason to and should stay. I am praying for you, and you may not be spiritual, and in that case, you are in my thoughts. I hope that knowing hope is not crazy, you have responsibility and relationships and therefore purpose on earth, reminding yourself of your passions and their beauty, and seeking professional help helps you. I know you have reason to stay. I am, we are, here for you.
ReplyThank you, I’ve just now realized that I have other motivations to stay alive. Because I know how a small compliment could make a big impact. Or a small gesture could brighten my whole day and I want other people to feel good about themselves. It’s the small things that keeps you from doing something so big based off all of the bad things in life. And I’m just now realizing that. So thank you.
ReplyI feel the same too ...
Sorry I can't help.
Reply