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I’ve always hated my life, I’ve always been fatter than the other kids, I’ve always thought there was something wrong with me. At first I used to think I’m ugly then I thought I wasn’t ugly I was just overweight and I needed to lose weight but now I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just me what’s wrong. It doesn’t matter how ugly or fat you are, it’s about being confident, which I am definitely not. But everyone who’s overweight has lost their confidence so it’s not just my fault.. even tho it kinda is. I’m the one eating and not movind and distancing myself from the people I love. They’re just better without me. A year ago I definitely had suicidal thoughts but then I discovered fasting which helped me forget the negative thoughts and thinking I may have had hope on losing weight. I always thought that when I lost weight I would eat everything I wanted, but it doesn’t work like that,even if you lost weight you could still be getting fat by eating unhealthy. I mean, what the heck is wrong with me? I know everything there is to know about losing weight, I just don’t apply this knowledge. It’s like I’m buying the product but I just don’t believe it. I am 17 years old, 160cm tall and have finally reached my biggest weight which is 83 kg. I’ve been thinking about dieting since 13 years old and since then I’ve been cursed by it. Summer has made me more depressed lately. I don’t leave the house, I stay in front of the computer all day playing video games, I eat three to six ice creams per day, my best friend has texted me five days ago “we’re friends not bff” when I send her a post on instagram saying “I’m sorry if I haven’t talked to you in months, I still love you and you’re still my friend” to which I haven’t responded yet because I am not ready to talk to her about how its been months since we last saw each other (i guess distance relationships never work out huh), none of my summer clothes fit me, I’m bigger than my mom, I’m literally bursting out crying right now and I’m trying not to because my little brother is right next to me and I dont want him to see me like this, I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes to my head that’s why I randomly say stuff like “I’m not going to prom next year if I dont lose weight” on a random conversation with my mom, grandma, aunt, uncle’s fiancee, to which my grandma always responds “no you’re fine, there are bigger girls than you going to prom” and to which I always say yes but I dont want to, I’m fat, I need to lose weight. Can somebody please help me? I need psychological help. My mind is killing me
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Hey you’re to harsh on yourself, the one that’s judging the worst of you is you.. I wish I could eat or even afford the 3-6 ice creams daily! You’re blessed and loved, don’t doubt that if you have food in your home and then some, and a little brother..? Wow, you are lucky..
You should communicate these to your parents and look for a therapist, it might be expensive but you’ll probably find out why you’re eating your feelings away.. It’s ok to ask for help, it’s even better when you walk this path with family and friends along the way
ReplyI’ll be honest with you I don’t share the same problems that you do. But I do know that holding all these thoughts in your head is not healthy. Try talking it out with people, whoever it may be. Your parents, aunt, uncle, grandmother, and even your little brother are there for you whether you realize it or not. I learned that last month when I went through my breakup. My friends and even my sister who I never thought worried about my relationship came to support me that day, and I’m so grateful for them. I know it can be extremely intimidating to tell someone your problems. You make yourself vulnerable to another person, and you don’t know for certain how they will respond. But you definitely have to try to let them know. That’s my best advice for you. Now go get em!
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