What are you looking for?
For a moment
4 months ago · · Need Advice,
I wake up, and for a moment before I open my eyes I think that you are gonna be by my side. Just like always.
...But then I open my eyes and realise that your not there.
When I gain the courage to hop out of bed and make my way down to the kitchen, for a moment I think I'm gonna see you standing there making yourself a cup of tea, (very strong, a tiny, tiny dash of lite milk and absolutely no sugar) just like you did every single morning first thing when you woke up.
...But then I walk into the kitchen and see your tea you left behind sitting on the counter, but you not there.
When I get out of the shower for a moment I think I'm gonna leave the bathroom and see you sitting on the bed swiping through your phone while drinking your tea just like always.
...But then I leave the bathroom and see an empty bed.
When my phone rings, or buzzes throughout the day for a moment I think I'm gonna see your name pop up on the screen, just like always when we would text throughout the hours we weren't together.
...But then everytime I look down at my screen, I dont see your name.
When I get home from my day for a moment I open mouth to say hello to you, as I walk in the door, and hear your reply just like always.
...But then as I walk in I realise I am alone.
When I see something funny on my phone for a moment I look over to where you usually sat on the couch next to me to laugh with you.
...But then I look over and see an empty seat.
As I make dinner for a moment I grab two plates out of the cupboard for you and I just like I always did.
...But when I do, I quickly put one back, realising it's just me eating.
When I do the dishes after dinner, for a moment I wait for you to pass kitchen ware over to me, rinsed and ready for me to put in the dishwasher, just like we always did every night.
...But then I look up and realise I'm the only one doing the dishes.
When I get ready for bed and I open my drawers, for a moment I think I'm gonna see all your clothes also in there.
...But then I see only one sweater that you left behind that smells so much like you, that I can't help but smell every time I come across it.
And when I curl up in bed for the night, for a moment I think I'm gonna roll over and have you there to wrap my arms around.
...But as I do I see a cold empty side of the bed.
I have never felt so heartbroken in my life. Every part of my house reminds me of her. When you guys go through this do you move or redecorate? because every thing in this house, every piece of furniture makes me want to ball my eyes out.