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You see, I’ve gotten over my past exes by negative thoughts. All of my exes (except my most recent one) have turned out to be jerks. And that’s how I’ve gotten over them. I’ve gathered all the flaws and negativity in them and just focused on that. I know it’s not a healthy way to get over your ex but it’s effective + they were actual idiots. Of course I don’t HATE them and i still cherish all the good memories we had together. But i can’t say I don’t highly dislike them (for good reasons). Hell, one cheated on me with his co-worker.
Anyway, I just came out of this relationship. The guy is honestly amazing and i still love him dearly. He is genuinely a great guy. Our really just didn’t work. We just grew apart and changed. It was a mutual breakup and we’re trying to remain some type of friends. We used to be really good friends before we got together.
I don’t want to use my old method to get over him because I don’t want end up disliking him. I want to be okay with us being broken up. I want to be okay with him dating other people. I want to be okay with me dating other people. I just want to be over him but still keeping love there, just not the same type of love. I want to be able to love him platonically.
I need advice? How do i do this? I know it takes time.
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Then stop all contact and don't talk to him again for maybe a year.
You need time to move on and to find yourself and eventually meet new people. Keeping an ex in your life is a restrictive leash that suffocates you. So you need a LOT of distance and space before you can be "friends," but even so, the two of you will always be kind of awkward if you hang out around one another's new partners. You might cause friction in their relationships and make them lose out on happiness, and they might cause the same to happen to you.
Probably best to cut your losses and move on. Friends are usually temporary anyway.
ReplyStay out of each others lives is the best route.
ReplyEmotions have a way of deceiving us. I guess my question is why be friends? Why put yourself in a burden of forcing to be friends? Its like stabbing yourself twice after the breakup.
Leave and love yourself. Stop hurting yourself with the emotional torture that you are about to endure. You don't need to dislike him to stay away. Just stay away for your own sake. Love yourself more, that you deserve more.
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