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Wahh now that it's been a few years am starting to wonder ' why did I continue talking to him'....a friendship that wasn't meant to start......a crush that wasn't meant to develop.....a love that wasn't meant to be. I first got to know him online and we just started chatting.....he was totally not my type.....too staright forward.....a playboy among playboy's.....the thoughts and feelings that drove me to continue chatting with him will always remain a mystery. When we first started off,our conversations were mostly dominated by him.....back then I didn't even know how to talk properly to people. He used to call me babe and we chatted about the randomest of things......when I look back it wasn't even interesting....I don't know how the conversations went on for hours. From time to time he used to tell me that he loved me and I used to return it with a 'thank you'.... first because I didn't understand and then because I was confused. I mean he calls his friends 'babe' and since he was a playboy I thought 'i love you' was a greeting like thing to him.....I kept hurting him without realising it. Then one day idk y.....but we got into a fight and at the end he told he meant what he said and that even he wouldn't take those 3 words lightly....that was the first time something pricked at my heart. We continued being friends, I started opening up even more and I still returned his 'i love you' with a 'thank you'....but without knowing it, I started looking forward to his texts....he works till late in d night so I used to stay up till he finishes. I started becoming possessive and did almost everything to make him jealous.....I even told the stupidest of lies like exaggerating the number of guys who confessed to me to make him jealous.....I continued denying the joy I felt when he remembered my bday...kept telling him I didn't like him more than a friend.....I told him all this without knowing if I achieved my objective. One day all of a sudden he told he was getting married soon.....i didn't know how to reply. I told congratulations just like any other friend even though I felt a sharp sting from the moment I started typing 'c'. I tried distancing myself from him without letting him know but I wasn't able to. I fought with him over the silliest of things and kept asking him 'are u doing this to me because am an idiot u met online'.....I didn't understand at that time that I was asking him this to figure out where I stand in his heart. He remained himself and kept telling me that he loved me.....but these words that made me happy months back became a dagger waiting to pierce my heart at any moment. Our fights prolonged and one day he told ' I wouldn't continue entertaining u if I wasn't serious'....and at that moment my heart melted and I confessed everything to him. Even at that moment he told ' what do expect from me.I don't want to hurt you.....curse me all u want.....make me the bad guy if that would make u happy' ....I just smiled to myself ......he was being sooo sweet.....what could a maidens heart do but melt even more? I told him that I didn't expect anything from him just like how he expected nothing from me when he first confessed.....I just wanted him to be himself. Yes we have continued to remain friends till date..... Nothing has changed on confessing.... atleast that's what I thought. The conversations that hurt me sooo much back then became a sweet memory....and I realised I could love him to my heart's content. Yes I feel a bit guilty for his wife to be.....so I told him to move on quickly......I told myself that I would love him as much as I want till his marriage....which is this November.....and would stop talking to him after.
He has stopped texting me frequently.....I don't know if it's because he is busy with work or because he is trying to put a distance....but i have nothing to complain about.....I still wait quietly and patiently for his texts and that is more than enough for me.
I wish him all the success and happiness with a small thought in the back of my head 'it would make me sooo happy if he remembers me even a bit in the future'
As for me....I'll continue being naive and for a change I like it.... because that's the character that attracted him ☺️☺️☺️. He found and accepted the me that even I myself didn't know and I love him for that. He made me realise that all guys cannot be treated at d same level..... some are special and that he is and always will be 😁
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