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My Timed Entry
3 months ago · · Career Choices,
For the longet time i have felt the need to always hold myself up right. Around people, around my family adn sometimes even in front of my own reflection. At some point it became a routinne and nnow when i look in the mirror i do not recognise who i see. How can i spend the most time with myself but have no idea who it is that i see in the reflection. Itf not that i do a lot for other people its that i do a lot for the sake of other people and forget myself. I know i am talking about the past which i always mention is somethinng you should never do but one question that still riegns very diligently inn my head is HOW DO YOUJ FROGET THE PAST. How can the past not make you thinkabout your future? How do people get treated certain ways and be so okay with the person that did them wrong in the first place. ALl im trying to say is that at the moment i dont know where i am at in life. I dot know what i wannt and quite frankly its affecting everything in my life including i hate to say this; my relationsngip. Who cna i trust adn who cant i? I wna tot look at myself as my own best frine but when i look in thr mirror i hate who i am. Physdcially i think i am not that bad but when i really look and see who i actually am ans not what my eyes want to see i realsie that its not okay what i ahve donne to myself. When i go to the gym i get the sense that i am workingn towards somethinng. I hope this joourney for me goes well and that i see major changes becasue for the past 3 days i have been working my ass off at the gym and i hope that one day it will actually go soemwehre. If