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I desided something a few days ago. That was to be less emotional when its about guys than i used to be. I slept with 4 guys at less than a month. All of them was from a dating app. Hopefully none of them was either a rapist or a 40 y.o man. I was new at this thing. I never really expected myself to do something like that. Never really needed it to be honest. The point is that besides the sex I wanted more...
I'm an emotional human being that needs hugs and kisses and not only a dick... Well tell that to some tinder guy and tell me how it went... Every and single one of them promised things and showed things in order to get what they wanted. When they actually got it. He was already gone.
Why when it comes to a relationship most guys disappear? Is it so scary? As I know it is not. I don't fucking understand. Its not just the boys tho. Most of us we just put the blame to how needy and emotional we are and that boys are so much the opossite. Well its not like that. All of us need human bond. Someone to talk to and listen bacause he cares about us and not because he wants to fucks us. I just starting believing that these people are a minority in my world.
Besides that, some of these guys told me something that really socked me. They wanted to be together but not in a relationship. So confused I know. When I asked them what they meant by that, told me "we only fuck each other but its not like we are in a relationship". WTF. Whats wrong to be in a relationship you people?? Is the emotional bond so cruel that no one want him? Whats wrong with love and care? Is sex all you need? Am I exaggerating? Why do we use other people to satisfy our needs and then dump them? Are humans so selfish? Sooo many questions in my head.
I'm just so disappointed. Young people nowdays have luck of true and meaningful emotions. I don't know how to manage this realization. It makes me so sad and melacholyed. Why nobody wants to be emotionaly attached? Why when I call some guy at my place he assumes its a booty call? I just need someone to hang out dude! It's not all about sex!
Girl, 20 y.o
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There is nothing wrong with asking for more (outside of sexual intimacy) in a relationship. There are some people still searching for those rare gems as well. While I have no experience in dating, perhaps you can try to look in other places other than a dating app to find a relationship. I would suggest to find a friend, and then get close to them.
ReplyMen want relationships to. In my view a relationship is one of the best things that can happen to somebody. It is something so special between you and someone else. It is something where you don't need to be afraid to share anything with the other person, and you are there for each other no matter what. It is a beautiful concept and those who say they don't ever want one are liars because they are so special.
Guy, 21 y.o
ReplyGenerally speaking, I believe this apps are known to the masses to be hookup services, not dating services, though that's the intended purpose.
I'm going to assume that, in your profile for these apps, you have made mention that you'd like to go out, on a real date, and take it from there? If not, you may wish to add that, or something similar so you're being up front about your intentions. This lets the men know that they shouldn't expect any action in the early days. Hopefully this will deter a great many of the ones who just want to hook up away from your profile.
Additionally know that many men don't associate sex with love. Fishing is fun and I like to fish with my wife but, because it's fun, I also like to fish with other people, like my friends. Bowling is fun and I like to bowl with my wife but, because it's fun, I also like to bowl with other people. And the same can certainly go for sex. Having sex is fun and I like to have sex with my wife but, because having sex is fun, I also want to do that with other people too. People who associate love with sex, which is most people and certainly most women, don't understand that because they just have a different mentality about it. I can have sex with other people but still love my wife and we get along great, but we both sleep with other people and, together, with other couples. At any rate, most of these men you're referencing have that same mentality - they want to have sex because that's fun and they'll do so with anyone who will with no intention of having an actual relationship because, again, we don't typically associate love/relationship with sex.
Easy to understand where they are coming from but I'm suggesting that they are correct or that you are wrong, simply explaining their disposition in the matter.
Make sure you have that clause in your profile, know that most of the men are simply looking for sex, and take the relationship slow. You may scare a guy off if you try getting to "relationshippy" right away. Have an actual date or two and, if you're both having fun, have another date. Over time, the relationship will develop and you can start having sexual relations whenever you feel comfortable. If he's pushy about it, he may not be the one for you. On the flip side, don't make him wait forever or he'll get burnt out and leave. Once the relationship is feeling "good", you may be ready to take things to the next level.
Hope this helps!
Bucko
ReplyLearn to be happy by yourself first. Eventually you might meet someone whose real.
ReplyI'm a boy (20 y.o.). If you can believe, that happened to me as a boy. Though I don't try dating sites in usual, I believe in a relationship which involves pure emotional bonding as well. In my perspective sex is a level ahead of love. That is, one should have pure emotional bonding before having sexual relationship . And when you have sex with a person, you should feel loved, not just fucked up.
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