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Doesn't matter what you say. Doesn't matter what you do. I know my life better than anyone and I know that I'm done. If I died tonight, no one would really fucken care. I just can't anymore. It's been 12 fucken years and I am so goddamn tired. I'm sooo tired, that I am just done.
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I'm not sure I am capable of living here
You have heard of champagne tastes on a beer budget? I think I have the same problem, but it is more like "normal brain ambitions with a mentally ill mind...
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Uhhhggg.. :(
Yeah, my health is terrible and the process of getting better makes me feel really sick too. Like I can't really do that much. And people say health is happine...
I've been done since I was 14 and ive tried many times in my life so far to end it... I felt like noone cared and everyone turned their back on me... Here I am in my 30s and 2 kids looking at divorce and at my lowest point in life and its not worth it... Ive lost everything never had parents lived in foster care my whole life lost my only blood relative that lives in same state as I do and I have nothing but me and my kids... I've lost jobs had cancer 2x survived siucide been beaten raped and left with nothing since 14, I can't even walk outside without taking meds cause I feel me and my kids are going to be hurt or im going to be judged, my past fucked me up and made living hard.. U may not see it now but your life is worth more than what u think, stay strong... U may think its over and u give up but don't ive been battling alot for well over 15 years and its hard but u have to have strength and faith... U are stronger than what u think... If life is fucking u over u grab it by the balls and say not today things will look better... Think positive of u think positive u will get positive.... Negativity thinking gives u negativity and gets u no where... I will be praying for u
Reply:< I'm sorry you feel that way.
ReplyYou’re tired? Told the same thing to my therapist and the answer was: then take some rest..! Has the actions you made for the last 12 years given you a different result? No? Then take some rest and everyday, little by little change something..
ReplyMy life is emotionally the most sensative, fragile and intense rollercoaster. I swear it is lol
I see now that it was only an hour ago when I posted this.. and I already feel better. You are all right about everything, and I wasn't expecting such real comments on this, but still thank you so much. It means a lot to me. I suppose even venting it off and letting the negative thoughts out REALLY helps.
Thanks again guys, seriously <3
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