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I wish I hadn't stood up to the girl who was bullying me.
9 months ago · · Remorse, · Explicit
Ever since freshman year, I had to deal with this one mean girl who absolutely had it out for me. I'm not sure why. It's not like I ever did anything to her. And sure, I'm not exactly popular and super beautiful the way she was, but I wasn't some homely loser either.
Anyway, this one day some months back before school let out for summer, she was harassing me as usual. Finally, I just snapped and I hauled off and clocked her. It was the first time I'd ever hit someone in my life. She fought back. We were on the second floor near the stairwell and I finally landed a shot right on her chin that sent her reeling back towards the stairs. She fell all the way down them to the landing. I looked down at her and immediately realized she was out cold. Some people bent down to examine her and one of them screamed "Call 911!" From there it was chaos and I began to realize how badly I'd fucked up. Turns out she'd hit her head really hard coming down the stairs. I'd actually knocked her into a coma which she didn't come out of for nearly a month. From what I gather, she's still having brain problems and might never be right again.
There aren't words in the English language to begin to say how badly I feel and how much I wish I could take this back. I never meant to hurt her like that. I just wanted her to leave me alone.
I was expelled after that and of course I was arrested. Long story short, my lawyer has managed to work out a deal with the prosecution. They've agreed to try and sentence me as a juvenile. Which means I'll be able to get my record expunged eventually. But in exchange for my guilty plea, I'm going to have to spend some time in juvenile detention. Thirty-six weeks in fact. I'm due in court next week to enter my plea. Once I do that, I'll be taken into custody to begin serving my sentence.
I don't know what the point of this post is, just that it feels good to be putting all this into words and getting it out. I hope her parents at least show up for my sentencing. I want them to know how sorry I am for doing this to their kid. I don't know what I could've done to get her to leave me alone, but getting violent definitely wasn't the answer. I know that beyond a doubt now.