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I've been feeling lost and lonely lately. I see my friends fairly often but as soon as I'm at home I feel this gaping hole in the pit of my stomach.
I think I'm just having a bit of an existential crisis with starting university this year. I'm currently enrolled in a course of study that I see no future in and I'm facing potentially a lot of debt to try to deal with through my part-time, minimum wage job. I don't see the point of it all but everyone says "if you don't go to university right out of high school, you'll never go back" and telling me that I'm making the right choice and I'll enjoy university once I get there. Maybe I will enjoy it but presently I'm dreading it.
I'm enrolled in the same course of study as my best friend who I'm currently in a passive aggressive fight with. She's fighting with our other mutual friend but refuses to talk with her. I kept suggesting they should talk and I recently found out from another friend that my best friend doesn't want to talk to me about it because she feels like I'm pressuring her to talk… I HATE it when people are passive aggressive, I just don't see what can be solved if you don't talk to people directly. I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite for not confronting her about this, hey?
I'm also facing cuffing season single and that's kind of getting to me. I haven't dated anyone in three years and it's totally my fault. Boys have shown interest in me but I'm really picky I guess? The one guy I actually like has a girlfriend so that's off the table, cheating is no bueno.
Overall I feel like the majority of my relationships are either superficial or becoming so. I feel lonely and I'm dreading September.
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It's okay. I'm feeling lonely, too. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share your story. Opening up can be really hard.
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