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Last week, the (Social media that started with L) group, something like Facebook messenger or Whatsapp for those who don't know, that was always empty came back to life. The group only consist of people that I and they considered friends. From this group, there's also a girl, which I also liked at the moment.
They were talking about attending an event that's offered by the university. The event is just a group lunch that the university kindly payed for the attendees. I don't want to explain more about the event, afraid that someone can identify me.
Back to the story. They were talking about attending this event. Though I rarely joined the chat conversation in that group, that time I kind of 'encouraging' myself to join so that I can 'talk' to her again. The thing is, when I actually joined, she stopped talking.
Its not that I'm angry or anything. I'm just sad that she kind of 'avoid' me for a reason that I don't know. This is not even the first time and I think I kind of shared about that in here too sometime ago. So it was basically the same case as that.
Since I decided to join this event, and I know she will join this event too, I'm really afraid of facing her in some days time. I don't know what to do when that time comes. I hoped that if she DO avoid me, she will ignore me altogether. But I don't want her to ignore me. I loved her for a long time now and it will be devastating for me if someone that I love actually ignores me like I'm some kind of dust.
I already accept the fact that I'm VERY ugly compared to my friends and actually don't have any chance with her because of this. I kind of accepted the fact that she also ignores me in chat ever since we went abroad. Its saddening, but what can I actually do? Ask her why she ignores me? I don't have the courage to even say Hello to her.
I don't need an advice but if someone wanted to comment on this, please do so.
And if you, the girl that I mentioned and loved at the same time (V), somehow read this, I hope this 'you ignoring me' case is just me being stupid. If it is true that you ignore me, then I'm sorry if I did something wrong.
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