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Confessions of Step Mother
8 months ago · · disability
My eyes are flowing with tears right now; your Autism Rose has me fearing for all my unborn children. I love your father (Joseph) so very much and we are planning a future together. I know he wants to have more children, but Im scared that they will come out like you.
You just turned 5 congrats. A few days ago I finally saw you interact with other kids your age. Just from that single moment I realized how delayed you are
- no words
-minimal eye contact
-not potty trained
- poor interactions
...and so much more
It sucks noticing all these traits Autism has caused you; my little niece is 4 and my neighbors child is 5. When I interact with them, we have little conversations about what they like eating, what games they love playing, who their favorite characters are. We interact and just live. I have seen them grow throughout the years; but when I see you I haven't seen you grow. To be honest you are still the same to me as you were when you were 3. The only progress Ive seen is that you are leaarning how to use utensils , you have less tantrums and can finally sleep without waking up everynight.
Autism parents always say that it gets better with time, but I dont believe that. Really just depends where your kid is on the spectrum. Unfortunately with you we are on the low side; The crappy side, the side no one really talks about because they only see the high functioning side. You are not like little Sheldon or Raymond, they grew up to be people and lived a life. Even the Hikikomori were able to live a life.
Today was also the first time my mom thought I was pregnant, and we had the pregancny talk. She too is worried, she told me that I need to think alot about my decision to have children with Joseph, and gave me some suggestions. She told me that when im ready to have kids I need to get a blood test comparison with Joseph to check our compatibility. Is that a real test? She told me that her and Dads blood were a good match, my cousin's Cesars parents did not have a good blood match and Cesar's life is pretty terrible right now. She also mentioned adoption, there are ways to become a mother, but for me I want to create and bring a child into the world. That opportunity was almost taken from me when I was 14 years old and 20 years old; Now its my opportunity and im afraid to go for it!?