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I am waiting for sex. Every action I do is motivated by that expectation. It's not even a need. I just expect it and patiently wait for it.
I am almost 35 years old, and I am patiently waiting for someone to offer me affection. Why don't I offer affection first? Why don't I give others the things I want?
I'm scared of looking bad. I'm scared of hurting people through my fumbling. I'd rather do anything than feel that anxiety.
Behind my every thought and decision is my anxiety and nothing else.
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It will happen, it will. It doesn't make you less of a human. The right person will be there. I bet you're a bomb-ass person, and someone wants to make it known, but they're scared too. Be yourself. And hurting people is inevitable. It is. I wouldn't let it decide all the life choices you make just because you want to be a people-pleaser. You can't always. And anxiety, anxiety fucking sucks. It's terrible... But you're going to make it. Find something that you love. Put your positive and negative feelings into it. I wish you luck, my friend! You're going to be okay, just do what's best for you.
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