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It's been a while since I had my last breakdown. Akala ko ok na ang lahat. Akala ko ok nako. Pero bakit ganun? Bumabalik nanaman ang lahat. Nararamdaman ko nanaman na magisa ako. Feeling ko walang kwenta buong existence ko. Pagod na ko sa lahat..sa bahay, sa acads, sa council. Ayoko na. Wala nakong gana sa lahat ng bagay. Madalas nanaman akong umiyak ng walang dahilan. Everytime I'm alone, suicidal thoughts come rushing to my mind. Everytime na sumasakay ako ng lrt lagi kong iniisip, tumalon kaya ako? Every night lagi kong hinihiling sana di nako magising bukas. Ewan... Di ko na alam. Kahit ilang beses kong Sabihin sa sarili ko na magiging okay ang lahat hindi nawawala yung bigat. Onti na lang talaga..susuko nako.
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Huwag kang sumuko. 1 year ago, namatay yung Lola. Akala ko rin ok na ako. Matagal na run since last breakdown ko, tapos nararamdaman ko nanaman yung sakit :) Everything will be ok. Kapit lang laban lang. I've been there January this year, dealing with grief at the same time thesis. Pero nakasurvive ako (event hough I'm still on the healing process), I graduated last june. Pahinga ka lang tapos balik ka ulit. Magiging ok tayong lahat.
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