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I can’t get over somebody I used to love
1 month ago · · Stress,
I am engaged and have been in the relationship for over 5 years. When I entered the relationship my fiancée was my best friend. But I had another best friend. Another girl, let’s call her “the other girl” for clarity purposes. I had a strong connection with both of them. I continued talking to the other girl while I was in a relationship. Nothing flirty, just talking as friends. After sometime and a rough patch in my relationship, the other girl became closer to me but only on a friendship and confidence level, nothing physical. The other girl and I had always someone had a fling for each other but were always in a relationship so never advanced on it. Anyway, the other girl and I got into deep conversation one night and feelings were realized. Nothing more was said or established so we moved on but continued talking. My girlfriend had read our messages once and demanded we stopped talking, (declared I was emotionally cheating). I stopped talking with her abruptly and our relationship sort of halted with no closure. This was hard on her and honestly unfair to her, for she had done nothing wrong and did not want our relationship to become hurt because of her. Years later she had made a comment to my girlfriend which emphasized she was still upset about it. This was over 4 years ago. We have both gone on living our lives and have had no communication since. I still have feelings for her( not in a way to break my relationship and pursue anything) plus she is in a relationship( proof: social media I.e: not communication). I still love and care for her as the true friend that she was. I have a desire to speak to her again and end our relationship on our terms but I know this would be hurtful for my fiancée and jeopardize our relationship to at least some extent. Most of the time I don’t ever think about this at all but when I do, it truly hurts. I just feel so horrible for hurting both of them. I want to try to make something right for myself. I’m driven crazy by this all. Plus I don’t feel like I could ever address this to my fiancée for the thought of me talking to the other girl would be enough to upset her and cause insecurity at least. I need help. I do not know what to do but the stress is real, the hurt is real.