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It's been more than a month since I lost my mother due to severe lungs infection and her body was in septic shock (which is rare) I feel so unlucky ... I really feel like most of my world I gone ..... I turned 19 on 15 September .... And I lost my mom on 20 august 2019 .... And my college started from 1 of August ... So I have to miss my classes for about a month and then joined because my mum was admitted for 15 days which makes it more difficult for me to cope up with other classmates and teachers actually puts a lot of work pressure on me even though they know from what I am going through ...I really wanna leave this college as here teachers talk so rudely and don't care ..... I am so much introverted in nature and I really find it difficult to make friends here .... Most of the time I sit quite in my room thinking about my mom ...I really miss her ... I wanna go home .... I have to join this college just because I had no other option left .... I have to wait for half a year just to get admission in another college ... And I already dropped a year to prepare for architecture and design ... This college is the last what I had now .... I just wanna quit everything and wanna go somewhere far away ... I have no confidence left in me .... My performance is going down.... I know I should talk with someone and I already did ... I talked to my dad and sister both of them said that now life is tough and I have to deal with it ... Both of them are tensed and feel depressed too ... And I don't want to make myself as a tension for them more .... But idk what I am doing and what should I do ... I just wanna share something as I don't have anyone here in my college to share with .... I have my friends at my home but they too are busy with their lives and I I don't wanna make myself burden on them .... I just want peace in my life now .... I feel homesick and depressed .... Idk what is going on with me anymore ...no one in my college and hostel really know what I feel ... Most of the time even when I want to reach them they try to ignore or just don't care ... I really want to go home even though now my home feel empty only my dad and my dog lives there ... Still I wanna go there and wanna talk to someone close to me .... I try to make myself comfortable but it doesn't work in the end of the day I feel depressed and alone.
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Maybe you need to talk to someone else about it. Where you're from, is it possible to seek a counsellor to talk to? I heard that places like the UK do have free medical care, and that you can seek for a therapist that way.
ReplyI know how it feels to feel unlucky about these situations, and I find it better to just reach out to those around me, and as an introvert I feel like people try to ignore me or that they don't care, but I do know that's not the case.
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