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I miss being on here and reading people's stories and how they'd be feeling most times. I rarely write on here now which sucks but I feel like I should start back doing so. I've gone through some pretty wack emotional stages in the past and I hate they still bother me even now. I do partake of the devil's flower so it helps a lot to stop feeling things and to get to that pure happiness stage that I love, even if i turn into a giggling dummy for a few hours. I don't really get to see my friends as much, what few friends that I have left anyway, so loneliness is a very common visitor. After my last relationship, I feel like a huge light has been dimmed out or turned off. I also feel like something horrible is going to happen soon. I dunno. I keep getting this feeling that something worse than ever will happen to me and a few other people. It worries me. You may not believe it but last year I think I predicted that shooting that happened on valentines day. I was waling through the hall in high school and I got this feeling. It wasn't a bad feeling but one that let me know to keep a look out or that a bunch of people were going to get hurt. I immediately thought to myself "There's going to be a shooting on Valentines day." Afterwards i thought "why the fuck did i just think that?" So now I'm just hoping that this current feeling is incorrect... I got a ps4 recently and I've been on it almost none stop, I love it. I've also pre ordered the last of us part 2 sooo, yah. But of course, apathy sets in, then loneliness and unexplained sadness waves. I guess I do miss him still dearly, no matter how bad it all was and how bad I felt during. Music, weed, and writing always help me. But, there's always a "but". Oh, I'm a CNA now too!! So now i get to help people and kinda follow in my mom's foot steps. So uh yeah. Single like a pringle a and as bitter as a lime, but always ready to have a good time. (Corny as hell, I wanna not exist even more now, I apologize for that bit.)
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It's pretty empty here. I try my best to reply to posts so people don't feel bad about having no replies but I feel like I am just crap posting and I can't really reply to letters and any posts about love and romance or just any post that I can't think of a way to reply. The valentines day shooting was a school shooting in Florida last year? Man, it would be nice to warn those victims of the shooting before it happened. I been single forever too. Loneliness is my boyfriend then. Welcome back though!
ReplyI thank ya for commenting and taking the time to do so. But it sucks that you can relate to the loneliness part too. But its cool of you to give people something to look forward to, even if its just crap posting.
ReplyThanks lol. I wanted a conversation with anyone but people just post and no one else replies to their post. I used to be addicted to this site like days ago now I can't find any motivation to continue. I just come here to post what I am feeling since there is barely judgement here.
ReplyI know exactly what you mean. I try to do the same sometimes too but trying to muster up the motivation takes a lot for me sometimes. But again, I thank you taking the time to do this.
ReplyYeah. I wanted to be a psychologist but I am doubting now when it's hard for me to help any kind of problems. I feel like I am not caring about people's problems enough. Well no problem lol.
ReplyI know what you mean, I wanted to do the same when i was younger but the drive to sort out others' problems and my own eventually lead to me saying f- it and not caring in general, so dont feel too bad about it, theres always a much worse outcome
ReplyOh thanks. My parents keep telling me that I should study in computers and get a job related to computers but I didn't want to. They see me on a computer all the time in the past (I am grounded forever from my PC already) so they thought I was good with computers but I am really not. I only play video games and chat with internet friends.
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