What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
I self-mutilated for the first time two years ago in October. I have now 11 scars on my left arm. The scars have slowly faded away over time but it is still noticeable. I think I may have caused some nerve damage or something. Every time I'm stressed out or anxious my left arm tingles right where the scars are. Those are the only scars that managed to stay. I have self-mutilated on my hands, right arm, and both my thighs. The only ones that remain are the ones on my left arm. It's constantly reminding me of this is where it all started. I guess its PTSD in a way since it was traumatic for me at the time. I hate being depressed, anxious, or stressed cause my arm will just feel numb and feels tingly sometimes. I really hate it. It's like my body's natural reaction is to cut. I haven't done self-harm in a while but the constant reminder isn't helpful. I don't know anymore...
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Nobody
The echoes of owls in the darkened hearts of the trees, the blades on the windowsill crusted with the pestilence that I drove from my veins. My eyes are wide op...
-
My Unsent Letter
Dear friends, You don't know how much you lift me. It's like school is an escape to my problems because of you. You don't know how miserable I am right now....
I am so sorry to hear this. I also had the same experience. Because I wore short sleeves quite often, I stuck to cutting my stomach and hips. I would self mutilate because I wanted the pain. I wanted to make myself feel pain and hurt, because if anything went wrong, I believed that it was my fault and I deserved it. So overtime I would mess up, or become depressed or angry, or become stressed, I would get 'tingles' on mainly my stomach, sometimes my hips. It truly is traumatizing. I haven't self harmed in 2 years, but sometimes when I become really stressed or I messed up something really important or huge, my first go to reaction is to slip away to my bedroom, find the nearest blade, and go to town. It's tempting, because of how freeing it felt, but then I think back to how emotionally and mentally hurting it was (not to mention physically, JFC). Just try to stay strong. Always remember to fight the temptation, no matter how powerful it is. Because you are the strongest one here. I wish you the best of luck, friend.
ReplyI feel you.
the last time I did THAT was 2 years ago
my country gets quite humid so I stuck to doing it on both thighs.
some have faded, but they're still there.
each time I look at it, I still see the fresh ones
and I have ptsd about it too. I still do. and it really is quite hard.
each time I get to see it, I just. It gets hard to control. the thoughts i mean.
as I said, I'm still in the process of getting over it alone
and what I did first was trying to get used to seeing my scars.
during the first month of being clean, I would get an attack after seeing it.
after a more months, I would just look away but my heart would still race, I would feel hot and cold.
even after a year, and my hands brush against my thighs, it tingles, and it gets harder to breathe.
2 years clean now and I'm still not comfortable wearing shorts, but whenever I see it, my reaction wasn't as bad as it used to be.
so I just wanna tell you that even if takes years, it'll somehow get better. I can't promise that things will be perfect, because even I haven't moved on, but I can tell you that it gets easier.
I tried reading about ptsd too, i learned and understood a lot. about what's happening to me, and it's effect on me and you could try it to see if it helps.
Reply