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feeling the feelings
3 years ago · · Emotional Pain,
I am feeling the feelings tonight. I have found a way to conveniently numb them out or distract myself from them lately, but I have let up on some of those behaviors. I am now starting to feel the intense return of those emotions I hold so deeply and feel so intensely. I started crying again. Genuine crying and feeling that has needed to happen for a while now. There are many things I am worried about, but there are also so many things I am grateful for, like facetiming my close friend from New York. She is one of the truly healthy relationships I have, and I value her presence and her words very much. My call with her was just what I needed to alleviate some of the pain involved in feeling those feelings. She is someone I could easily visit with for hours and never get bored or want to escape the conversation. I gain so much from each interaction we have, and I feel unbelievably safe in those interactions. I miss her so much, and I hope I can visit her in person relatively soon because it has been too long.