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My absolute first real real crush lasted for three years. We were in elementary, one of the worst years of my life. I was so in love and I did stupid things. I never really got love from anyone, my family and friends, so I really wanted it. I spent all of my time for him and wasted so much cash. He would give me his doe eyes and I would just crumble. He gave me attention which I thought was affection, sadly it wasn’t. He had so many girls chasing his tail. Most of the girls in school backstabbed me because I was close with him. I didn’t care much about them... only him. Then he transferred schools. I was alone in seventh grade, no real friends because they backstabbed me and that the others left. Ever since this incident, I am always afraid to fall in love. I wouldn’t talk about crushes with no chances. I would ghost the ones I liked. Now I changed, it is reaching 5 years since that incident. I am still afraid of love but now I am slowly changing. Love is love, pain is pain but the amount of years of pain compared to the years I have left is big. So I guess I’ll cry and love. I’m trying to make the most out of love because scars fade and love, once you find the proper person, lasts forever ( ¯︶¯ )
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