What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
Growing up in a sunny warm city with marvelous sights all around you and then slowly as your life falls apart you eventually find yourself in an arctic bunker with gray cold metal walls all around you. It's freezing and you can see on what little internet you have how much better it is in Los Angeles and what a great time people are having there but can't really talk to them. You decide you're tired of being cold and hungry all the time, barely having the energy to walk around in order to preserve what little body warmth you cling onto to survive each day. It would be so easy to just let go, yet so hard because the little penguins who bring you fish each day would no longer have someone to bring fish to. It's not like you could tell them how much pain you're in right? But you tell yourself, "well they'll be confused if i'm not here to take the fish". You know that's not the reason but it's what you tell yourself. It's what you need to get through another day. So you walk across the room and you pick up the radio. An excruciating frostbite chills you with every step as even the tiniest breeze infiltrates the walls of your jacket which barely holds the heat in. You're at the radio, you're calling for help, someone picks up. But you're terrified, what if help doesn't come? What if you cant make it back to the warm bed in the corner that you positioned ever so carefully as to minimize the amount of breeze that hits you from the air vent across the room. You'd close it but you wouldn't be able to breathe. At least you know that in the bunker you're safe enough to survive another day. Out there in the freezing cold? Will you even make the trip back to the city? Eventually you make the choice to trust the rescue. They bring you back to civilization. It's warm, it's like a dream, disbelief. It's almost sort of foreign after staying in that cold dark place for years. You get set up to go back to living a normal life, friends, family, a job. Sometimes you forget that you were ever in that bunker, a distant memory. Life goes on, only sunny days from here on out. You finally got that job promotion you've been working for, new car. Sipping coco while watching a movie on a cold winter night. Then you spill the cocoa. "Oops, oh well ill clean it up and get another one", you think to yourself. As you're washing the cup and the cold dishwater runs over your hand, the power goes out all across your residence building. The heater dies and the room slowly slips into a chill. "How could this happen? Everything was going perfectly and now life decides to flip my shit on me?" A familiar feeling washes over you. It's hurts but somehow it feels a little warm. How could it be cold and warm at the same time? You suddenly remember everything. It hurts, but for some reason it feels comfortable. It's home. You're safe in here as long as you make sure to stay in the blanket and move the couch away from the vent, stuff shirts under the door the prevent heat from escaping. "Wait, why would I do that? I can just go down the street to the warm cafe" you remind yourself. After the power has turned on and you return to your apartment, the heater is back on, it's cozy again. Time to make more hot cocoa. BUT it feels different, you question it, maybe it feels fake. Were you happier back then when you had to appreciate every shred of comfort? "Stop thinking that way" you think. This warmth that shelters you now doesn't have the same familiarity as the cold that once kept you prisoner. Why? Why would you want to have that horrible feeling again? You don't want it, but you do. Why? It's fine here. "Maybe it's not so bad back there, eh screw it let's go". Mmmh yeah, wait no, oh crap how do i get back out.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
I Wonder...
I wonder if I will be missed. I wonder if they will miss me the way Ill miss them. I wonder who would show up. I wonder if she would show up. I doubt that she w...
-
I punched a hole in his heart...and created my own personal hell
He punched a hole in the wall soon after I punched a hole in his heart with the news I delivered. 7 years later the hole still remains with a comic poster hidin...
I don't want to go back there. But sometimes, I feel like it's the most wonderful place to be. I don't have to care. I'm just tired. Once I'm there though, I remember how bad it really was.
So, yes, I understand.
Reply