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2 years ago · · infertility, · Explicit
I’m feeling broken hearted. I aborted a child 15 years ago... and now I struggle in my marriage to have 1. And you have 5..... and you slept with half the county while we were together as well as while you were with your wife. My struggle has been to come to terms that I’ll never be a mom. And then this slaps me in the face. Scratch that, it punches me. Gives me black eyes and bruises all over. Except they’re internal. And no one will ever know except me. And whoever reads this. And I just hope and pray that they don’t leave scars. Because life is unfair. And no matter how hard I work to be good and fair and loving, the devil comes after me instead of you. I sure hope and pray that God has some ostentatious plan for all of this pain. I wonder what I did in a past life. I must have been a horrible piece of shit if there’s more than one life in Gods plan. I should have never asked how life was. I should have just let sleeping dogs lie. I should never have even thought about anyone or anything because now I’m just in this pain.