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Anyone.. please anyone...just don't read and ignore..tell me
Background:
Cheating always hurts...some can be moved on from but some just sticks because you have and see them for the rest of your life.
My father cheated on my mother. Not with a particular lady, just some random house helper...not just one but many...and has been doing it before I was born, even when my elder sister was little. My mom never suspected him to do such a thing until she caught him red handed.
Not to say it was difficult to handle all of that but we are past it now. My mother can't just divorce him and has to live with it.
Problem:
He had always been a little more partial to my elder sister..I'm not jealous of it...after all that had unfolded, I am disgusted by him and don't even wish to be favoured by him. I'll be leaving my home the next year basically to get away from his toxicity. He and my sister drives me crazy.
I am a very extreme kind of person if I like I can go through a lot of pains to keep them happy but when I don't like someone, I completely ignore him/her. There is no in between...here is the problem...my father still supports me financially and will do so for the next 4-5 years. He kind of swings between being good to me or bad to me...I have largely learnt to ignore him. It's not the bad things that hurt but the occasional good things that make me regret my decision sometimes..
What to do? I am confused... please tell me....I am really bad at handling emotions....
Please.
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Hi,i may not understand what you are going through fully because i haven't experienced it..have you tried seeking for professional help? Because one thing i know is that we can't always ignore our emotions and feelings, we have to face them and to something about them so that they do not indirectly affect us. Also , is there a way for you to be financially independent? Maybe getting a job or being an entrepreneur .. What about friends that can assist you though i believe that the only person who truly has your back is yourself? If its school related the financial part try finding sponsorship or scholarships from private companies or embassies
ReplyI don't think my problem professional help worthy...I have thought of completing my studies as quick as possible and start earning but my mother told me to study without worrying about the financial part because she works too so will support me...but I'm unsettled at my heart whether I should completely cut off my ties (on personal level) and be namesake daughter...is his love in form of financial support?
ReplyHe probably feels guilty and bad and doesn't know how to relate with you thats why he may show more financial support. I feel like you should sit down with him talk and have a heart to heart..I know its hard . Just tell him how he makes you feel..Show him the matter and make him aware ...After that you will probably have a clear picture on what to do. But your gut feeling is always right..Always make decisions when you are calm do not act out of anger or emotion <3
ReplyI wish I could talk but I've never had a heart to heart talk with him (and I am 18) so it'll be too awkward for me..
Replyi know..im a year older and i have to do the same with both my parents
ReplyI'm sorry to hear it...I don't know how to start or how he may react...he shuts me if I say something too much..
Replyhave you told your mom about it?
maybe she can try...or give you support while you are talking to him
ReplyMy mom is the only person who supports me...I have convinced her that I can be happy only if I leave (which I definitely will) so just wants things to get over quickly..me too tho
Replymaaan but at least you have a solution..that's all you need
You'll have that talk when you are ready <3
Replyher support is all that matters
ReplyThank you... thanks a lot... whatever you said cleared mind...maybe I do need to wait for the right time or if hopefully things unfold in an obvious way for me to decide
Replylove and light!
ReplyI don't think my problem professional help worthy...I have thought of completing my studies as quick as possible and start earning but my mother told me to study without worrying about the financial part because she works too so will support me...but I'm unsettled at my heart whether I should completely cut off my ties (on personal level) and be namesake daughter...is his love in form of financial support?
ReplyI don't think my problem is professional help worthy....my mother works too and is okay with funding my studies...but I am in doubt about my relationship with my father...his actions make me feel I should distance myself totally from him....I can't understand that is his love for me in form of financial support?
Reply