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I can't handle this. Why do I keep finding myself desperate for this. Why can't I just stop. I've never met someone kinder than you. I've never met someone who's helped me more than you. I've never met someone more supporting and caring. I love you so much and appreciate everything you do, even if I don't say it enough. I'm so happy I have someone to support me positively. So why can't I stop. Why do I feel like I need this. Why do I wish I could have you say it even once. Why do I want you to break my heart. "You annoy me so much", "You're so stupid", "You're ugly", "I wish I had someone more useful", "You piss me off", "You're boring", it goes on and on and on.. why do I desire to hear you put me down so badly. Why do I want you to lay your hands on me. I've hurt inside so long from being brought down by everyone else around me even to this day, why do I want you to do the same. Why do I feel like I need it. why can't I stop acting like this. Why can't I think like a normal person. Why do I have to be this way. I just want to be normal. I just want to feel okay. I just want you. I just want...
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You keep asking why you bring this upon yourself. But you can’t always blame yourself. And you wanting someone isn’t bad, what they do it bad. Everyone says they want to be normal, but it’s not even a thing. You say it like you crave pain, but that’s not what your craving, you want the way they made you feel before and not what they do now. You want real but they won’t give it to you. See, it’s not you it’s them
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