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My classmates bully me for being an introvert
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Well i'm very confused with my life...
Basically, i am the best student of my class. You know, miss smarty and all. However, my friends bully me alot. That isn't physical bullying though, mental bull...
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They are heartless
Earlier I was crying in the school restroom stall because my mom called me and told me my grandma died. I can't hold back my tears so I excused myself to the te...
Say to him fck off. And believe you don't deserve it nor fine with it. Don't be scared to them. Be scared that they might make you believe you are not good. You will always be greater to the ones who act like they are below you. So you are fine
ReplyThanks for cheering me up :,-)
Reply"Bullying" is a popular topic nowadays for the mass media..."bullying"..."cyber-bullying"...etc... with stupid parents crying and asking about "laws" against it...
But you must understand that "bullying" has *always* existed...
Your father...your grandfather...your grand-grandfather...either were "victims" or were "bullies"!
Why?
Because the leader of the bullies is always some sad loser with a fucked up family history who feel the "need" to dish out misery to other people to feel better about his crappy life. If you do a bit of research about the "leader" of your group of bullies, you'll find out that I am right with almost absolute certainty. As for the rest of the "pack"...well...weak people feel the need to be part of the group and the easiest thing for people with little or no brain to have something in common is to pick someone who is "different" and bully him or her.
In your case you are introvert...having no friends make you a target...
...but if you weren't...you could have been fat, tall, red haired, having unpleasant habits (i.e., picking your nose, etc...), etc...literally anything that makes you stand out from the rest could make you a target for bullies.
But the main point is "how you react to it"...
Bullies are, at their core, *cowards*. They gather in groups or pick weaker people because, in essence, they are cowards. Even if you are weak, it is quite hard to take on a group of people alone...it is something that maybe someone with a solid expertise in martial arts *can* do, but it is not *easy* even for such a person!
You should "show no fear"...that is the main point...the worst thing they can realistically do is just "beat you", because they'll end up in terrible troubles if they do anything worse. It is unpleasant, but even if it is bad, it is just temporary. In fact some people who were obsessed with bullying did themselves self-harming things (i.e., suicide) that were far worse than anything the bullies could do to them or that society would do to them for *anything* they could do against a bully!
Then...you should not "ignore them" or "report to the teacher"...
Society has laws for much more serious stuff and, even if the teacher did something (most of time he or she'll not do anything), he or she cannot be there all the time to protect you.
Before being adult...as far as high school...well...society is a bit like the underworld:
People won't respect you if you are a "snitch"...they'll think you are weak and cowardly and they'll bully you even more!
I was bullied when I was young.
My mother used to tell me "Don't listed to them. Donkey razor does not reach Heaven!"
I have tried that, but was bullshit...and didn't work at all!
I really advise you against taking any advice from a female about "bullying" (even if *you* are a female). Female are "non-confrontational" and historically is is a recent phenomenon for them to suffer any "bullying" that goes farther than "mockery"...so they have no clue on how to get out of this kind of situation.
My father is from another age...was a child during World War 2...a different age...much less "politically correct" and definitely not the "friend of his children father"...
He simply told me "Next time someone bully you, you punch him on the nose!"
I followed his advice. His advice worked, because that is how works with "bullying".
Society tell us that we are "civil" and we don't resort to "violence", but that is because within society, the State wants to retain the "monopoly of violence"...wants to be the only one who could use violence...you see? ...when *this* works, it is better for all...because society becomes less dangerous...that is the reason why, as an adult, you learn that the "use of violence" is the last option you have. Society allows for that...it is called "self-defense"...but only in the most extreme situation (i.e., when your life is under direct threat)...
However when Society is unable to enforce its laws upon the people (with the threat of violence and retribution), unfortunately the use of violence becomes necessary...and same happens when you are young and your "problems" tend to be ignored by adults...
...if you report the fact that you're bullied to a teacher...he or she will do little or nothing...
...in fact, the only person you *can* report is *the teacher*, if he or she takes part of the "bullying" you are suffering, because Society won't tolerate a teacher who bullies those under his or her charge...he or she'll probably lose his or her job, get in troubles with the law and you'll never see him or her again...
...but your "persecutors"...no...since they are teenagers...you can't...you'll not stop them and will make just things worse...because the "society" of teenagers (and, even, children) reminds more the "underworld" (world of criminals) than "honest/civil adult society"...they will bully you even more if they think you are a "snitch" (informer)...and the teacher, even if did something, cannot be there all the time!
So the solution is...
You should "man up"...you should "stop being afraid of them"...the worst thing they can do is "beating you", but if nothing more or they'd get in bad troubles...
...so what you do is to pick them *individually* and you "beat them"...starting from the weaker and most cowardly and going on until you taught "a lesson" to each of them, leaving the "leader" as final step. Consider that, when I did it, "a punch" was sufficient and, in fact, I'd suggest you to solve your problem as soon as you can because, if you don't you'll just accumulate hatred against them and this might cause you to "act out of proportion"...which you should *not do*, in part because you may get in troubles yourself and, in part, because they are just stupid teenagers who are bullying you...while you might think they are doing "horrible things" to you, your perception is altered by your emotions...
...so...remember..."beating them" is reasonable, but don't "overdo"!
Also consider one point:
You will get into "troubles" by doing so. Society is essentially hypocrite:
They'll not teach the idiots to not bully you, but if you beat them, you'll get in troubles for having bullied them.
Because Society has the pretentiousness of "forging" you into an adult who'll not use violence as a mean to sort your problems. Why? Because when your adolescence ends, if you keep using this mean to solve your problems, there is a special name to label you..."criminal"...and Society will get down upon you with its retribution.
However as a teenager, you'll get just "scolded by the teacher"...your parents might be "called"...they might "scold you" or "punish you" (since they need to "keep appearances" with Society)...but if you don't "overdo", nothing terrible will happen to you...
( When I say "overdo", I mean..."punching" or "kicking" should be ok...but be reasonable...in a fight, the situation gets out of control...I'd not tell you a long list of "don't" and "don't" as you might "freeze" -which is bad-...but try to not use "tools" or "weapons" to start with and consider that in a real life-or-death scenario you'd rather fight in hazardous positions -i.e. stairs, slippery floors, etc...- but in this case you'd not want that because you only want to "teach them a lesson"...not to hurt them for real!!)
The leader will be the hardest part...because usually is bigger, stronger, has done martial arts, etc...but you'll eventually have to face him or her as well. If you manage to beat him or her or at least show him or her that you are not afraid and you're willing to dish out enough pain to make any further bullying attempt undesirable ...well...you'll be a target no more.
It might take one, two or three "beats up"...since for the "leader" is matter of reputation more than for the rest of the group...
As for punishment...remember...unfortunately it is like being a criminal...it is technically "against the rules" and "having witnesses" is bad...the bullies usually won't report you, but if they have a "bully" reputation you can lie...you say that "he or she started the fight"...as long as there are no other witness or your friends are the only witnesses, you might be able to avoid consequences...
Remember...society doesn't like "use of violence", but *accepts* "self-defense".
Unfortunately as teenager, "words" won't usually work...as adult, usually "seeming unafraid" or "making threats" will deter most people...
Anyway...good luck with your "manning up"!
I hope you'll solve your "bullying" issue without getting in too much troubles!
ReplyOmg thank you so much for the effort you put into this advice I really appreciate it and I Will follow your advice
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