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Sometimes I make myself physically nauseated and sick. I cut today around 20 times on both of my arms. I have a really high pain tolerance so the pain doesn't bother me that much. I've learned to just deal with it. Whenever I have an episode (sickness) or am hurt, I try to not take a Tylenol or ibuprofen because my family has always told me "Mind over Matter" and it has always stuck with me. Since I am studying to go into healthcare, I have alcohol pads at my exposal. When I cut, I use the alcohol pads over the cuts. It burns but then it goes away.
I kind of know what makes me sick and that sometimes is Ramen. I don't have any allergies to food or anything that I know of so I don't have to worry about allergic reactions. Popcorn sometimes makes my stomach hurt too.
When I diagnosed with Anxiety, I found that I was one of the only ones in my classes that they would have their leg going up and down. I use the small candy Fireball to sometimes help with my anxiety. If I don't have a fireball in my mouth, I find myself eating a lot of junk food. I already think of myself as fat so when I see my weight going up, I feel even worse about myself.
The reason that I cut myself was that I made my mom disappointed in me and I'm supposed to study for 2 college finals. No matter how hard I try, I can't retain anything that I want to study and learn. I feel like a failure who can't do anything. I always say that I would study for a whole day but since I have no motivation, I usually never do anything. It's really bad and I don't know what I can do to help it...
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With what you say, it seems you are an over thinker and definitely stressed. With the cutting, i think you should tell someone about it... it would feel a lot better to let someone know than bottle it up. With studying and such, always take deep breathes ALWAYS, close youโre eyes and take deep breathes and find a focus point, if itโs still difficult, maybe a tutor? Now with eating, bb understand,being the way you are Ian better than being like others, eat, live your life, eat the junk food( with wata) because you literally only live once, take a deep breathe and understand youwv got a whole lifeโs ahead of u
Replythe other half of your reply made no sense
Replyokay sorry.
ReplyI am sorry you have to deal with this but I really connected with the studying problem of yours...I am very similar..at one time I was sad about my studies going array I was almost depressed....I would sleep for hours like 3/4th day...and be really sad...but now whenever I get stuck again and don't feel like studying, I literally convince myself that time is running out and I don't have time to get sad or loose my mind over it...I just need to study...I forcefully study...the results aren't as much expected yet...I tend to forget things a lot...but I'm still trying....
I really hope you get through all of this happily...
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