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I have more than most. But a lot of it is borrowed time because of how I've handled it. And one bad decision has placed me in a spot of enormous compromise. So I go through life now yearning for someone to love. To love me. But I am not even courageous enough to be free to accept that love if someone felt it. I have too much to complain and not enough to actually be happy.
I will say it just this once when I am slightly tipsy. I've fallen in love with you Megan. And while love is not complete without the shared feelings of two people, I feel what I feel on my end. And I cannot tell you because we both have people. But I will take this one single moment, when I have had a few drinks, to say it someplace. God I love you. I want nothing else than to spend time with you. And I will not say it to you, because I will not ruin someone else's life - yours and your boyfriend's. And I don't want to lose your friendship. But I will say it here where there is anonymity. I cannot get you out of my mind. I think about you all the time. I lose sleep over my thoughts of you. I use all my strength not to show it when I am with you.
I keep hoping this will fade. But so far it won't. I hope it lets go of me soon. Megan.
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