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I have been plagued by feelings of not being enough for all of my life...I worry ....
4 years ago · 1 · Loneliness, +2
668
..about even what strangers walking down the street think of me! And then I beat myself up for being so weird!
If a woman shows interest , I get quickly swept up and "loved" up and completely lose any sense of self and scare them off, or perhaps I pick the "wrong ones" ….either way I blame myself...I am not enough.
However ….I have made several breakthroughs recently.
Breakthrough one is :
finding groups of people who ALSO acknowledge feelings similar to this.....and there is NO shortage of such people. Anyone in recovery for alcohol , overspending, drugs , debters anonymous, co-dependents anonymous etc....I went to the love addicts meetings and realised I could have also previously been in Acoholics anon, Gamblers anon, Cocaine anon...…..I have been an adrenaline junky all of my life. I AM NOT ALONE!
I now mix with people who have suffered from drugs or booze ...they now get by without those things. They are in many ways healthier than "normal" people. They have showed me a WHOLE WORLD of fun outside of the very standard methods of enjoying yourself! Dancing, singing, yoga, sewing, fixing your car, learning a new skill are all FAR BETTER INVESTMENTS OF TIME AND MONEY THAN watching the game and getting drunk.
There is a message about loving yourself in these groups which I simply do not hear much of in the outside world....we are told we are "not enough" to love ALL THE TIME. We compare ourselves to glamorous and rich fold in adverts, in movies and celebrity pages. And we draw the conclusion that we are not enough.....
I listen to youtube videos telling me I am enough , and I have reasons to be grateful.
Them and the new people in my life, have made a change....a big big change! Try it!
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