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Hello stranger.
I know it’s been a while since we last spoke, it’s been even longer since I’ve seen your face. You probably meant for it to be that way, a silent farewell to spare my feelings... you probably even thought you were doing me a favor, that by one morning me waking up and no longer finding you would make it all seem like one long elaborate dream. I’m sure you meant well.
However, here I am. I’ve woken up and noticed you were gone. To give you credit, it does feel like a dream, but only because I never the closure I needed to truly move on.
It’s time to say good bye. Back when you loved me and you had to go abroad for a few months, when we didn't know if you would even come back, if we would ever hold each other again , we promised each other that their would never be a good bye. Instead we said “I’ll see you soon”. Because we knew back then that there would be no distance to great to keep our love apart. I said I dident believe in good bye and you agreed.
That was many years ago ...
you’ve already said your good bye but you did it behind my back. So now it’s my turn.
Unlike you I am not afraid to feel . The years of silence have not yet silenced my heart . Just when I think I’ve finally moved on there you are creeping back into my life . I see you in films, books. I see you in colorful print t shirts and fruit patterned socks. I hear you in music and I smell you in what used to be some of my favorite food.
I don’t encounter you as much anymore as I’ve stoped partaking of all these things that kept you alive in me.
Still, there always comes a time, when I least expect or want it , when you find your way back in.
I know you don’t wish me harm. I know you harbor no I’ll will towards me. This is something I have to handle alone.
I’m not saying we will never see each other again but not until I finally learn to fall in love with myself. Till then this is something I have to do. I owe it to myself to be happy. I hope you are.
Good bye, you.
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