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Stepping aside from the friend who broke my heart
1 year ago · · Friendship problems , · Explicit
So today I met a friend of mine for the last time. I feel bad and we did t argue or fall out (in fact she has no idea what's going on) but I've made the choice to step aside from her and not keep in touch.
Long story short we met in uni years ago and I always liked her, we have so much in common, we geek out over movies and stuff, but she declared herself asexual and looking to have kids in her early 20s so I k we things would not work out.
After graduating we kind of met occasionally but in the last half year we met and spoke more frequently. I still felt crazy about her but she made it clear she wasn't interested in dating, got hit on by guys all the time, didn't like going out and was frequently sleeping with a co-worker (despite being asexual). I was confused but enjoyed her company and kept wondering if I should ask her out.
On New year's she broke me by telling me she is now with the co worker she's been sleeping with. It hit me deep. I was angry at her for making it clear she was not sexually interested and did not want to date, but I also blame myself and take responsibility for not making the move despite the obstacles.
I've not broken Into an argument over what happened, hold it against her, or make a thing out of it. Instead I am making the harsh decision to simply leave her be. I did this but she recently contacted me to say she wanted to meet up. I hesitated and thought hard about it but thought it would be good emotional training for me. I hated it the whole time we were together at dinner. Any other time we'd meet somewhere in town to a restaurant, then go somewhere for dessert and spend hours and hours ranting on about movies and geeking out over shows etc. Tonight we met for an hour, I asked for the bill as soon as we were done and went our separate ways. I was brief and very plain in talking about what had been going on with my life and when we departed I have her the briefest of hugs rather than the bear hug that would never end.
I get this is maybe overreacting and I'm being childish over it but for my emotional and psychological state it's best if I simply walk away rather than fall out or make a thing out of it. Even if things don't work out with her and this guy I'd rather move on and maybe fall in love elsewhere.
Any thoughts, comments etc?